Chapter Seventy Three – Justin
Rick awoke
in the early morning hours before the sun had come up. Glenn stirred in his sleep, but didn’t
awaken. Rick thought, “I love waking up
in the morning with Glenn’s head on my chest.
I remember our first night together.
He asked if he could put his head on my chest to listen to my
heartbeat. I thought it was a kind of
odd, but agreed he could. It
wasn’t long before Glenn had wrapped his body around mine, and was fast
asleep. He seemed so trusting and
childlike that night. I held him in my
arms, smoothed his hair and ran my fingertips along the line of his jaw. He never stirred, even when I shifted his
weight, so I could sleep a little more comfortably.”
“Since that
night, Glenn sleeps in my arms with his head on my chest. I know it makes him feel safe and
loved. Glenn has told me that many
times. I’ve never felt as close to anyone in my life,
nor have I felt as much a part of someone else’s life. It’s like we are two halves of the same
person.”
“I know
Glenn has missed me terribly since I went on active duty. It’s been hell on me, too! It’s like half of me is missing. I hadn’t realized just how much this
beautiful young man means to me, until now!
I’m amazed at Glenn’s resilience in the face of adversity, but at the
same time, it scares me how fragile he is.
Last night really brought that home to me.” Rick replayed the conversation in his memory.
Glenn looked into my eyes as I held him in my arms, enjoying
the aftermath of our lovemaking. He
asked, “Rick, what are you thinking about?”
“Why?” I asked, in reply.
“You seem to be thinking and I wanted to know what you were
thinking about,” he explained.
I thought for a moment before answering. I wasn’t sure how Glenn was going to react
to what I wanted from him. When I
didn’t answer, Glenn said, “You don’t have to share your thoughts with me, if
you aren’t ready to talk about whatever it is that is bothering you.”
I finally decided I’d just say it, “Glenn, I want you to fuck
me. I want to feel you inside me. I’ve always been the top and you’ve been the
bottom. Will you do me this time?”
Glenn’s answer shocked me.
He said, “I can’t, Rick. I don’t
want to hurt you.”
I thought he was joking until I saw the tears running down
his face.
“I have nightmares about John and his friends raping me and
how much it hurt. I can’t do that to you,
Rick. I love you too much to hurt you
like John hurt me,” Glenn said.
I held Glenn in my arms, as I absorbed what I’d just heard
from my lover boy’s lips. Finally, I
asked, “Does it hurt when I fuck you?”
Glenn replied, “No, you are always so gentle with me, and you
make sure I’m ready when you start fucking me hard. I can feel you love me, and I know the reason you fuck me is because you want to share that love with me. It’s not like when John fucked me. He did it to hurt me! He didn’t care how I felt or how much I
hated having him get his rocks off in my ass!
Rick, it hurt so much, and the
names he called me hurt me even more.
Then, his friends did the same thing to me, calling me their bitch. It went on for hours, Rick. I thought they would never stop.”
I said, “But that doesn’t mean you can’t fuck me. You won’t hurt me, because you love me. Can you see it’s different than what
John did to you? I want you to make me
yours, Glenn. I want to be yours, as
much as you are mine.”
“Intellectually, I know it’s not the same, but that doesn’t
change the fact I can’t do it, Rick,” Glenn pleaded with me to
understand. “I don’t want you to be
angry with me. I need you to help me,
please! I want to be the best lover,
boyfriend, partner or whatever I can be for you. Honestly, I want to do this for you, but I
can’t.” Glenn clung to me and covered
my chest with his tears.
Glenn’s reaction totally left me without words. I didn’t know what to say. I just held him tight until he stopped
crying, and seemed to calm down somewhat.
I ran my fingers through his hair and gently wiped the tears from his
cheek. I raised his chin so I could
look him in the eyes.
I said tenderly, but firmly, “Glenn, I will never make you do
anything you are not ready to do, especially when it comes to having sex. Do you understand me?”
Glenn smiled weakly, and answered, “Yes, I understand. I love you, Rick.”
I said, “I love you, too.”
I gently kissed my sweetheart.
Rick’s
thoughts returned to the present as he listened to his partner’s steady
breathing. Just remembering how much
pain Glenn exhibited last night sent a shudder through Rick’s body. It made him very angry with John and his
buddies for the psychological damage they inflicted on Glenn; damage so severe that just the thought of
being the top in their relationship brought him so much pain and anguish.
Rick never
really seriously thought Glenn was so fragile emotionally. Glenn always appeared to be very stable and
put together. Rick knew he’d been
through a lot with Ian, but this latest revelation about John opened up a whole
new view into Glenn’s personality. It
explained many of the behaviors Rick had noticed and wondered why Glenn acted
the way he did. It was almost like he
had found the missing puzzle piece that allowed him to complete the picture.
Rick had
never been able to fathom how such a good looking young man with so much talent
could have such low self-esteem. That’s
why he had been pushing Glenn to acknowledge the musical talent he
has. Rick thought if Glenn could
see the great value others saw in his musical abilities, it would give
Glenn’s self-esteem the boost it needed to start moving upward to normal
levels.
Rick decided
at that moment that he would do whatever it took to make his partner whole
again.
*** ***
I awoke with Rick’s arms holding me tight
against his body. I listened to Rick’s
steady heartbeat. Last night was purely
amazing. Rick made love to me multiple
times, with each time better than the last.
Then, he asked me to fuck him and to make him mine in the same way he’d
done me. I felt so bad I couldn’t
do it for him. I tried to explain why
I couldn’t, and Rick seemed to understand; but I know, deep down, he is
hurting because of my inability to return the same love he gives me.
In some
ways, it was a relief to finally tell Rick about my fears. I’ve dreaded telling Rick I couldn’t
fuck him from the first day we got together.
Rick has never asked me about Ruth Ann.
So, I’ve never had to explain that with Ruth Ann, I was afraid of
hurting her, as well, so I never took the active role. She was always in control and took what she
wanted. Ruth Ann thought she was helping me, but in
reality it scared me even more.
Rick didn’t
push me anymore about it last night, but I know he will, soon. He wants to have the full experience of
being loved by a man, and I understand the feeling. Rick is the best lover anyone could ask for,
because he is so kind and gentle. Yes,
he can be rough and aggressive; but, at the same time, he always makes sure I’m
okay with what he’s doing.
My reverie
was interrupted by the sound of the bedroom door opening. I couldn’t see who had opened it, but I
didn’t have to wait long to find out who it was! I turned my head and saw Robbie and Adam, as
they came around the side of the bed.
Rick’s arms tightened around me as he started to wake up.
Robbie said,
“Good morning, sleepy heads!”
Adam asked,
“How was the recital last night?”
Rick lifted
his arms over his head and stretched. I
felt his muscles ripple under me as he effortlessly lifted me up. I love the feel of his body in the morning! That’s why I enjoy wrapping my body around
his!
I answered,
“The recital was okay. You should have
seen my lover boy! He was the star of
the whole evening. Everyone fawned over
him and kept asking him questions about the Marines and where he had
served. They hardly even noticed I was
there!”
Rick laughed
and said, “You’re just jealous, because everyone recognized how superbly
handsome I am.”
“And did I
say sexy? Rick looked extremely sexy in
his dress uniform. It was all I could
do to stop myself from ripping off his clothes, and letting him ravage me right
there in front of everyone!” I exclaimed.
Adam
laughed. “Yes, we know how great Rick looks in his uniform. Remember?
We saw him last night before you left.”
Robbie said,
“We’re all jealous we don’t have a handsome boyfriend like you do, Glenn.”
Rick looked
at the two teen boys. “I don’t think
either of you has to worry about snagging some handsome guy. You’re both very good looking, and have
engaging personalities.”
The two boys
looked at each other before answering.
“Adam already asked me to be his boyfriend,” Robbie said.
“Congratulations! Do Zach and Todd know, yet?” I asked.
Adam
replied, “Yes, we told them last night.
They are very happy for us, but made us promise to wait to have sex
until we’ve talked to our parents about it.”
Robbie
grinned. “We plan to call our parents this morning. Are you guys coming down to eat
breakfast? Ben cooked for all of us.”
Rick and I
nodded our heads in the affirmative.
Robbie smiled and said, “Let me guess – you’ll be down after you clean
each other up in the shower.”
Rick
laughed. “Right, again, Dr. Watson.”
Robbie
grabbed Adam’s hand and pulled him from the room. “Adam, we’d better leave the lovebirds to
themselves until they’re ready to come downstairs.”
They left,
closing the door behind them. I looked at
Rick, who pulled me to him and kissed me.
“Good morning, lover boy!” he said, smiling.
“Good
morning,” I said, returning his smile.
“I’m sorry I ruined a perfect evening by becoming so emotional last
night.”
Rick
responded, firmly, “You didn’t ruin anything, Glenn. I’ve known there was a reason why you’ve
always insisted on being a bottom for me; but I’ve never asked why. I guess it seemed natural to me, as
your boyfriend, I’d always play the dominant role in our
relationship. After being away from
you, I’ve realized I want you to be an equal partner in everything we do
together, and part of that, for me, is for us to switch roles during our
lovemaking.”
I nodded and
said, “I understand, and I want us to be equal partners in everything we
do. I’m glad we're having this
conversation, because it means so much to me to know you feel the same way
I do. Up until now, I’ve been happy the
way things are, but, like you, I’ve been thinking a lot about our relationship,
and how we could strengthen it. I want
to spend the rest of my life with you, Rick.”
Rick kissed
me. He grinned and asked, “Is that a
marriage proposal?”
“It is, but
only in the sense, that when you’re ready, I want to be married to you. As long as you’re in the Marine Corps, there
is no way we can be married; but I want you to know I will wait for as
long as it takes,” I said. “I’m not
letting you get away from me, Mr. Lernier, now I’ve found you.”
“Does this
mean I’m a keeper?” Rick asked, as he started tickling me.
Between
laughing and giggling, I managed to say, “Yes, now stop tickling me before I
pee all over you!”
Rick
stopped, pulled me to him and kissed me.
“Let’s get a shower,” he said.
He pulled me to my feet and we made our way to the bathroom.
After a nice,
long shower together, we emerged from the bathroom very happy and
satisfied. We quickly dressed and went
downstairs to see if the guys had left us anything for breakfast.
Ben pulled
out two plates of food from the oven when he saw us appear in the kitchen
door. “I managed to save this for
you. Better sit down and eat it, before
the rest of them realize there is some still left.” Ben laughed, as we started wolfing down
pancakes, eggs, sausages and orange juice.
We heard a
knock on the door, followed by Zach calling out, “Honey, I’m home!”
Ben shouted,
“Come in. We’re in the kitchen!”
A few
seconds later Zach and Todd joined us at the kitchen table.
Zach asked,
“How did things go last night?”
Rick
answered for us, “Really great! Dr.
Nohr seated us at his table with some of the businessmen from here in
town. They treated me like
royalty! It was truly amazing to see the
level of support they have for our troops overseas. It really made me happy to know people
want to know about what I do, and how things are going.”
“Not only
that, they couldn’t keep their eyes off of my handsome boyfriend in his dress
uniform,” I added.
“That’s
true, too. I had quite a few women
approach me, and a couple of guys, too, which surprised me. The guys took one look at Glenn and decided
to beat it; but the women, on the other hand, just wouldn’t quit, sometimes,”
Rick said.
“Yeah, I
practically had to beat them off with a stick to get rid of some of them,” I
said, laughing.
Todd asked,
“So, how did you do at the recital?”
Rick spoke
up before I could respond, “He was absolutely wonderful. The crowd gave him three standing ovations,
and clapped so loud I thought I was going to go deaf from the noise!”
I blushed at
the praise, but managed to say, “Yes, I didn’t make any mistakes this time.”
Todd smiled
and said, “I’m sure Rick isn't exaggerating when he says you brought the house down.”
Ben said,
“We need to be getting on the road soon.
We have a lot of things planned for today.”
“I’ll get
Robbie and Adam and we’ll get started,” Zach said.
He yelled up
the stairs, “Robbie and Adam, let’s go!”
A few
minutes later, two rather disheveled boys appeared in the kitchen. It was obvious what they had been doing
while we were eating breakfast!
We piled
into the Land Rover and spent the day touring the sights around Minneapolis and
St. Paul. We were relaxing in the front
room, after returning home from our day out, when Zach said, “Let’s go out
dancing at one of the local clubs. Are
you guys up for that?”
Todd answered, “Sure as long, as it’s a gay
club. I want to be able to dance with
you without getting all kinds of stares and rude comments.”
I looked at Rick,
who shrugged his shoulders. “It’s up to
you, sweetheart,” Rick said.
“We’ve never
gone out to a club before. We’ve kind
of kept a low profile, because Rick is in the Marine Corps,” I responded.
Todd said,
“Well, no one knows you here, so, you should be able to go out and have a nice
time dancing.”
Zach said,
“I’ve been to a couple of the gay bars here in town.” He looked at Todd before continuing, “I
didn’t hook up with anyone, even though I wanted to a couple of times.”
Todd smiled,
as he put his arm around Zach’s waist. “That’s because you were still in love with
me!”
Zach nodded
his head in agreement. “True. I wanted you back something terrible, but
didn’t want to admit it. So, are you
guys up for going dancing?”
Rick
replied, “I’m okay with trying it out.
If we don’t like it, we’ll catch a cab back home so you two can have the
car.”
Zach smiled
and said, “Cool! Todd and I need to go
over to my dorm so we can freshen up.
We’ll pick you guys up in about an hour or so.”
Ben came
into the front room as Zach was leaving, “What are you guys planning to do for
the evening?”
“We’re going
dancing at a local gay bar. Do you want
to come with us?” I asked.
Ben laughed
and said, “Sure, as long as you’ll keep guys from hitting on me!”
Rick grinned
and said, “No way! I want to see what
you’ll do when some big guy tries to hit on you; especially if he grabs you and
hauls you off to the restroom for a quickie!”
Ben laughed.
“That guy would be one bruised dude when
I finish with him!”
“Why don’t
you ask Janice to go with you? That way,
you’d have a date and no one would bother you,” I said.
Ben thought
for a moment before answering, “Okay, I’ll give her a call.”
Ben pulled
out his cell phone and dialed Janice.
After a few minutes, he ended the call and turned to us. “Janice agreed to go. She’s never been to a gay bar before.”
Rick asked,
“I’m the only one who is 21, so how are the rest of you going to get in?”
Ben said,
“We’ll see if they won’t let us in, anyway.
Sometimes the bouncers will let us.
Last year we managed to get into a few places that way.”
Rick got up
and pulled me up with him. “Glenn and I
need to get ready. We’ll be back down
in a little while.”
Ben grinned
at us knowingly. “Enjoy yourselves while you can.”
I laughed,
as Rick picked me up and carried me up the stairs. He pushed the bedroom door shut with his
foot. He laid me on the bed and began
to remove my clothes. When he finished,
he did a strip tease routine that had me laughing so hard my sides
hurt!
“Are you
ready for the ride of your life?” Rick asked, as he prepped me.
I nodded my
head as he captured my lips and kissed me, running his tongue over my
lips. I responded by opening my mouth
to allow him in. I completely
surrendered to Rick’s passion for me.
Later, as we
lay exhausted in each other’s arms, I contemplated the handsome face of my
lover. He looked back at me and asked,
“What are you thinking about?”
“I was
thinking I’ve never seen a more handsome face,” I said. I raised my hand to his face and traced the
line of his jaw down to his chin. I touched
his cheek, where I could feel the stubble of his beard.
“I like the
feel of your face, with your 5 o’clock shadow.
It makes you look so sexy! You
look like one of those models in a GQ magazine. Maybe you should try being a male model,” I
said.
“Only if I
get to have sex with you on every photo shoot,” Rick said, grinning at me.
“Then I
guess you’ll have to be a male model for one of those kind of magazine, then,” I
said, grinning back at him. “I think
you would become a major porn star very quickly.”
Rick laughed
and said, “I don’t think I’m cut out for that kind of lifestyle. I’m a one man kind of guy, and many of those
folks have multiple partners, which is not something I have an interest
in. You are the only one for me, Glenn
Nielsen.”
“I’m glad,
because you’re the only one for me, and I don’t like sharing you with anyone
else,” I said, as I caressed Rick’s six pack abs. I love the feel of his rock hard muscles
under my hands.
Rick looked
at the clock and turned back to me. “Babe, we need to get dressed. The
guys will be here shortly.”
We got up
and quickly showered and helped each other dress. Again, we wore matching outfits. This time, we wore bright purple dress
shirts, tight fitting dark slacks, and penny loafers. Rick pulled out a couple of matching velour
sweaters that we had purchased earlier in the day, and handed one to me. Rick pulled his sweater down over his head
and straightened it. The sweater did a
good job of accentuating his perfect physique.
“Rick, you
are such a stud!” I exclaimed, as I straightened my sweater and wrapped my arms
around my guy.
Rick gave me
a quick kiss, before he splashed a little cologne on himself and did the same
to me.
We came
downstairs just as Zach and Todd knocked on the door. Zach and Todd were dressed alike, since they
had bought matching sweaters at the same store we did.
Todd
whistled when he saw us, “Wow! You two
look great! Rick, you will have the
guys crawling all over themselves to get your attention.”
Robbie and
Adam came into the foyer to see why Todd was whistling. Robbie’s eyes went wide when he saw the four
of us. “Guys! Where are you going? You all look like a million bucks!”
Zach said,
“We’re going dancing, and, no, you can’t come.
I don’t think I can get you two in without causing a scene. And before you start protesting, we can take
you tomorrow, when they allow guys 18 and over into the bar. You guys can pass for 18, but not 21.”
Robbie was
going to protest, but Adam put his finger to his lips and said, “You guys go
and have fun. We talked to our parents
this morning, and they are okay with us being together; so we are going to stay
here and enjoy each other’s company.”
Zach
laughed. “Translated, that means you’re
going to get laid!”
Robbie giggled,
“We’ve already had the lecture from Mom about safe sex.”
Todd
grinned. “Okay, but don’t force your partner to do
something he’s not ready to do.”
Robbie gave
us his “I’m so innocent” look. “I’d never force Adam to do anything.”
Adam laughed
and said, “Don’t go trying to be all innocent on me. You’re just as horny as I am, and we’re
going to have a great time tonight while you guys are out on the town.”
Ben came
downstairs just as Adam finished his statement. “Just be sure to change the sheets and air out
the room when you’re done. You know I
have to sleep in there sometime tonight!”
Adam laughed.
“Robbie, changing the bedding will be
your job!”
Robbie
smiled and said, “I’ll do it, as long as you promise to shower with me
afterward.”
“Deal!” Adam
declared.
We left the
two teens to themselves for the evening.
Ben took the Land Rover to pick up Janice, while we rode with Zach and
Todd. We parked the cars and we got in
line to pay the cover charge. The place
seemed to be very popular by the size of the crowd trying to get in.
When it was
our turn, Zach paid for our admission.
Zach and Ben chatted with one of the bouncers. Zach introduced us, “Brian, this is Glenn,
Ben’s cousin, his boyfriend, Rick, and my boyfriend, Todd.”
“Nice to
meet you guys. I’m on the hockey team
with Zach and Ben. I’ll answer your
question before you ask it: Why am I
working here? Answer: I didn’t get a scholarship to play, so I have
to work to help pay the tuition.” He
turned to Ben and Janice, “Hello, Janice.
I’m glad to see you, again. Ben,
you better take good care of Janice.”
Ben smiled,
“I will. How do you two know each
other?”
Janice spoke
up, “We dated in high school, for a while.”
Brian
smiled, “That is, we dated until I told Janice I was gay. Janice was very upset at me at the time, but
we’ve become good friends since then.”
Janice
asked, “Do you have a partner?”
Brian
nodded, “Yes, I do. He’s the other
bouncer. His name is Joshua.” Brian led us over to Joshua and introduced
us to him. “Josh, these are some
friends of mine.” He went around the
group naming us and our relationships to each other.
Josh smiled,
“Nice to meet you guys. If you need
anything, just let me or Brian know.
We’ll be circulating around the dance floor and between the different
rooms.”
Zach said,
“Thanks, Josh. We’ll see you guys in a
bit.”
Zach led us
into one of the rooms where there were a lot of guys dancing. He found us a table and we sat down. A waiter took our beverage orders and soon
reappeared with them.
I took a sip
of my virgin strawberry daiquiri and watched the dancing. Rick reached over and took my hand and said,
“Let’s dance.”
Rick led me
onto the dance floor just as the DJ put on a slow song. Rick pulled me into his arms, and I leaned
my head on his shoulder as he led me around the floor.
Rick
whispered in my ear, “I’m glad we came.
It’s nice to be here where I can be myself, without fear. I wanted to take you out to clubs in Atlanta,
but have always been afraid I’d be seen by my some of my fellow Marines.”
I agreed,
“I’m happy we came, as well. I’ve been
watching the other couples on the floor.
Most of them seem to be as close as we are.”
Rick kissed
me, before he answered, “I agree. I
like the fact I can kiss you in public, and no one cares!”
Todd and
Zach were dancing close to us. Watching
Zach and Todd making out on the dance floor really turned me on. Rick started to kiss me, then, nibbled on my
ear before moving lower, to my neck.
Thankfully,
the music ended, or who knows what would have happened! The next song was a fast paced number, and
Rick took me by the hands and asked, “Are you ready to show everyone how to do
the swing?”
“Sure! I’m ready if you are,” I responded.
My Mom made
sure all of us knew how to dance. She
taught us all kinds of dance steps. My
Dad supported her in it, since it taught us how to move our feet. My older brothers really benefited from it,
since they were all into sports.
Rick and I
returned to our table after a few more dances.
We both shed our sweaters as we sat down. Rick looked absolutely stunning as he rolled
up his shirt sleeves and pulled his collar up.
We had gone commando so his package was clearly outlined through the
fabric of his pants. We were getting a
few looks from the guys at surrounding tables.
One of the guys stood up and approached our table.
As he
reached us, I recognized Justin from the Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus. I said, “Hey, Justin! I want you to meet my boyfriend, Rick.”
Justin
extended his hand, as he looked Rick over. “Glad to meet you, Rick. Glenn, you sure got yourself a real good
looking guy.”
I replied,
“Yes, I did!”
Rick said,
“Nice to meet you, Justin. However, I’m
the one who has the best looking guy in the world as my boyfriend.” Rick released Justin’s hand and put his arm
around my shoulders. “Have a seat,
Justin,” Rick said, indicating an empty chair at our table. As Justin sat down, Rick said, “This is Ben,
Glenn’s cousin, and his girlfriend, Janice.”
Justin said,
“Nice to meet you both. I will only
stay for few minutes. I know your
friends will want their seats back when they tire of dancing.”
A waiter
whose name tag said his name was Mark approached Justin. “May I get you something to drink?”
Justin
grinned at the waiter. “Yes, Mark, you
may. How about bourbon on the rocks?”
“Sure,
Justin. I’ll be right back,” Mark
replied.
Justin
turned back to us. “Glenn, we have
auditions on Wednesday. I hope you plan
to come and try out.”
I smiled and
replied, “Thank you for remembering me.”
I turned to Rick. “Justin belongs
to the Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus.
We saw them in concert and I went backstage to find out how I could join
their singing group. That’s how I met
Justin.”
Justin smiled
and said, “Yes, I remember. I was
rather rude, trying to hit on you that night.
Rick, you are the luckiest guy in the world. Glenn handled himself with grace and poise,
while, at the same time, putting me in my place. Please accept my apologies. I can see you are both very much in
love with each other.”
Rick
answered, “Apology accepted. How long
have you been singing with the Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus?”
“I joined
them my first year of college, so I guess that makes it a little more than 4
years ago, since I just graduated last spring,” Justin said.
Rick asked,
“What do you do?”
“I’m working
as a computer specialist for a local software development company. I’m a database administrator, which means I
get to be on call a lot. I’m not sure
I’m going to stick with it for much longer.
It’s not exactly what I would call exciting work! My friends think I need to give it more time
before I jump ship,” Justin said ruefully.
“I want to get a return on my investment in an education. I’m okay with working, but I’ve got to find
something I enjoy doing!”
Mark
returned with Justin’s beverage. Justin
paid him, and thanked him for the good service.
Rick
replied, “I’m with you, dude! I’m
majoring in mechanical engineering, and I’ve thought about working in the
automotive industry, like Glenn’s cousin, Keith. However, we toured a couple of the
manufacturing plants near Atlanta and everything is done with robotics.”
Justin
nodded his head. “That means you’ll need to know computer stuff
to go with the mechanical engineering, not to mention electrical stuff, too.”
While I
listened to Justin and Rick talking, I watched Zach and Todd on the dance
floor. They were doing their version of
dirty dancing! It was so “hot” to see
them together, so totally into each other, and completely oblivious to the
outside world.
Rick noticed I wasn’t really listening to them and leaned over and whispered in my ear,
“Who are you watching?”
I didn’t reply,
but nodded toward where Zach and Todd were dancing. Ben and Janice were watching them, as
well. Ben leaned over to me and said,
“You and Rick have some competition.”
Justin
looked over to watch Zach and Todd dancing not too far from us. Justin’s reaction was quite visible, as I
could see the tent in his pants. Rick
had been hard since we started dancing.
Justin’s expression turned wistful, as he said, “I wish I had someone
who loved me like they obviously love each other.”
Rick said,
“You need to be patient, Justin. It
took me a while to find Glenn. When I
started college, I had a different girl every night. I used them and left them. Then Glenn came into my life.”
Justin’s
shock was written all over his face. “You slept with chicks?! How could you do that when you’re gay, or
are you bisexual?”
Rick
replied, “I wasn’t into guys until I met Glenn. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t find a woman I wanted to be married to. My
ex-girlfriend cured me of ever wanting a relationship with a woman. She was like a waking nightmare. I really loved her, but she didn’t love me.”
Justin
nodded his head. “I’ve been there. My
last boyfriend used and abused me. I so
desperately wanted to be loved by someone I wouldn’t leave him until one night
he beat me so badly, the neighbors called the cops. He broke both of my arms and would have done
more damage if the cops hadn’t arrived when they did.”
The pain on Justin’s face showed there
were still deep wounds to be healed.
“How long has it been since you left him?” I asked.
His eyes
were bright with tears. “It’s been about nine months now. Alex is in jail now, so I don’t have to
worry about him trying to hurt me anymore.
It’s just hard to adjust to being alone.”
Janice
asked, “Where is your family? Aren’t
they helping you?”
Justin’s
voice broke with the emotions he was feeling, “They disowned me when they found
out I’m gay. I asked the hospital
staff to call them, but they denied they had son named Justin.”
“What about
close friends?” I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
“My friend,
Sarah, helped me after I left the hospital, since I couldn’t dress myself, with
both arms in casts. She is a divorcee
with two kids. The boys were more than
willing to help me. They are both gay
teenagers and enjoyed the fact that I was completely defenseless!”
Rick laughed
and said, “I can just imagine what they did to you!”
Justin
blushed. “Yes, I’m sure you can! I love those two very much. They kept me from going completely off the
deep end. Mitch and Jerry are 16 and 17
years old. Jerry asked me to marry him
when he turns 18.”
I smiled and
said, “So, do you think he’ll still feel that way when he graduates from high
school?”
“I don’t
know,” Justin said. “Sarah thinks things will change between now and then.
They live not too far from here.
I’m sorry for talking so much.
It’s nice to have someone to talk to, since I live alone now. I haven’t told anyone in the office I’m
gay. They seem to be nice people, but
you never know how they will react when confronted with someone who is gay.”
Rick said,
“That is so true. I’m in the Marines,
as you know, and it’s really difficult for me, since our military doesn’t allow
gays to serve in the armed forces. It
gets pretty hard sometimes, especially when they start cracking gay jokes and
putting down gay people.”
Zach and
Todd came over to the table. I made the
introductions, “Zach and Todd, this is Justin.
He’s the guy I talked to at the concert the other night.”
They shook
Justin’s hand. “Nice to know you,
Justin,” Zach said. Zach grabbed an
extra chair from the table next to us and they joined us. Zach continued, “I think I’ve seen you here
before, but you were with a huge guy who didn’t seem too friendly.”
“Yeah,
that’s Alex. He’s my ex-boyfriend now,”
Justin said.
Todd asked,
“What happened?”
Justin
related his story to Zach and Todd, who were as shocked as we were by what had
happened to Justin. Zach put his arm
around Justin’s shoulders. “You are
welcome to join us, Justin. We are wild
and crazy sometimes, but we have a lot of fun.”
Justin
looked Zach in the eyes. “Do you really
mean that?”
Todd stood
up and pulled Justin into an embrace, giving him a kiss on the lips. “Yes, we really mean it.”
Todd
released Justin, who sat down. He tried
to hide how emotional he was, but didn’t quite succeed. “Thank
you! You don’t know how much I needed
to hear that tonight. I came alone
tonight, hoping to see somebody I knew.”
Justin
pulled out a piece of paper that had been folded several times out of his
pocket and handed it to Zach. Zach
unfolded it and began reading. His face
showed surprise, and then, shock.
Silently, Zach
passed the note to Todd who passed it across the table to Ben and Janice who
passed it on to me and Rick. It read,
“I can’t go on living like this. I’ve
no one who cares for me. My parents
have disowned me, and most of my friends have abandoned me. Maybe by committing suicide, I can relieve
the pain I feel; and, at the same time, bring attention to how gay people are
treated in our society.”
When we had
all read the note, Zach spoke, “You were going to kill yourself tonight,
weren’t you?”
Justin hung
his head and looked at the floor. “Yes. I have a loaded pistol in the car I
bought yesterday.” He squared his
shoulders and looked around the table. “When Zach and Todd said I was welcome to
join them, I decided I could trust you, so I showed you the note. Will you help me? I really don’t want to commit suicide, but I
can’t go on living the way things are now.”
We looked at
each other for a moment, before Rick said, “I think the answer is ‘yes,’ but
there are a few things we need to get clear.
First, I want the gun and I want you to promise you will not buy another
one. Next, I want you to let us take
you to the hospital. You need some
serious help only they can give you; namely, anti-depression drugs, and
they can arrange for you to get counseling.
You have to promise us you will follow through with therapy
sessions, and you will call us if you ever get feeling this way, again.”
Rick paused
and waited for Justin to answer him.
Justin
looked at all of us in turn. “I will do
as you ask, but can I ask for one thing in return?”
Rick
replied, “Yes, you may, as long as it’s legal.”
Justin
nodded his head. “Promise me you won’t abandon me like my
parents did?” His face reflected the
small ray of hope that had entered his mind, since sitting down at the table
with us.
We all
promised Justin we’d stand by him, as long as he was making an effort to
get better. Zach said, “I can even
promise we will help you find a new boyfriend.”
Justin
laughed. “I’ll take just having friends first.
I’m not ready to have an intimate relationship with anyone, yet.”
Ben looked
over at me. “I think we may need to find a bigger house to
rent, because I think Justin is going to need someone to watch over him
for the next little while.” Ben looked
Justin in the eyes. “That means you’re
moving in with us, so you need to be thinking of how you will get out of your
lease.”
Justin
started to protest, but I cut him off, “Justin, you’re going to live with us so
don’t try to tell us you aren’t!” I
turned to Ben. “You’re right, Ben. We need to find a bigger house, especially
with Adam and Todd coming over for weekends,” I said.
Rick said,
“Remember, Grandpa said he would buy a place here for you to stay in while you
were attending school at the University of Minnesota?”
“I’d
forgotten, since Ben already rented a house with his friends,” I replied.
Ben asked,
“Do you think your Grandpa would still be willing to buy a house here?”
“Yes, I
do. His terms are that we live in it
while we are attending college.
Afterward, we become the property managers if we don’t want to
continuing living in the house or condo.
That way, the house generates income for us after we leave school,” I
said.
Ben grinned
and said, “I’ve seen a nice house for sale down the street from where we
live. It has six bedrooms and three
bathrooms. The rooms are very big, and it
would be ideal for renting to college students. Maybe we can call your Grandpa tomorrow.”
Rick asked,
“What about Frank and Taka? Will be
they willing to move with you?”
Ben said,
“Yes, I’m sure they would. The problem
will be finding someone to take our lease on the house. We signed a one year contract.”
Zach said,
“Let’s ask coach if he knows of anyone still looking for housing. I’m sure he has contacts at the school that
can help us.”
Justin shook
his head in disbelief. “You guys would
really buy a new house just so I could live with you?”
“Yes,” Ben
said, smiling.
I said, “You
are in trouble now, Justin. I think
what Ben is saying is you’ve been adopted. We take care of our own, and that means
you’d better do your part to get yourself to a better place; because we are NOT
going to let you screw up your life, let alone take yourself out of it! Are we communicating yet?!”
Justin nodded
his head in the affirmative. “Yes, it’s
still incredible to me, but I’m beginning to think I can make it through all
this mental and emotional stuff that has me feeling like I’m locked into a room
without windows or doors, and no hope of ever getting out.”
Rick had
been silently observing us, as we talked.
He spoke up now, “Justin, I don’t want to sound negative, but we don’t
really know very much about you. Can
you share more information about yourself, your family and friends?”
A look of
great sadness crossed Justin’s face before he started to speak, “Sure. I come from a small town in Wisconsin called
Chippewa Falls about 97 miles (156 km.) from here to the east. My older brother, Jared, is a great
sportsman and excels at everything athletic.
Not only was he a great athlete, he was valedictorian of his class. He’s married, with two kids and lives near
my parents.”
“My parents
always compared me to Jared, telling me that I needed to be better at sports,
and get better grades, because Jared did so well. Nothing I do measures up in their eyes. When I came out to them, Dad said I was not
a child of his and completely disowned me.
Mom didn’t defend me, but just sat there in silence. I packed my stuff and haven’t been
back. That was during my first year of
college. I’ve worked to pay the tuition
and books, sometimes taking a semester off to save enough money to go the
following semester. It’s taken me seven
years to graduate.”
Zach asked,
“You haven’t mentioned your ex-boyfriend?
How did you meet him?”
“I was just
getting to that part,” Justin replied. “I
met Alex three years ago. At first, he
was the man of my dreams. Then one day,
he seemed to change. He started to
drink heavily, and he started to beat me.
He would call me every name he could think of, to hurt me, as he would
kick me or punch me. He said I deserved to
be beaten every day, because I’m gay. I
know I should have left him the first time he beat me, but he said he was sorry and begged me to
stay. He promised it would never
happen, again. He went a couple of
weeks without drinking, but then he started, again. He would come home drunk and he would start
in on me. I managed to hide most of the
bruises, so people wouldn’t ask questions.”
“Our last
weekend together, he came home Saturday night, and this time seemed
different. He seemed to be sober, and was
so much angrier than normal. He started
to beat me, and, this time, I realized he really meant me real harm. It’s not that he didn’t mean to hurt me all
of those other times, but I could always explain away his behavior, because of
the alcohol. He grabbed me and started
to choke me. He didn’t stink of alcohol,
which made me realize it wasn’t the same as all the other times. I grabbed his balls and squeezed as hard as
I could which caused him to let me go.”
“I tried to
escape from him by running out the front door and down the stairs to the
parking lot; but he caught me and dragged me back into our apartment,
threatening to kill anyone who dared call the cops on him. I shouted at my neighbors to call the police,
because I thought he was going to kill me.
When we got back to our
apartment, he told me that, since the cops were going to show up that he would
provide them with a body to make their trip worthwhile. He said he wanted me to suffer for being gay,
and making him gay. He said he blamed
me for his wanting to be with a guy. He
said he hated me, and hated the fact he enjoyed having sex with me.”
“As I said
earlier, he managed to break both of my arms before the cops arrived. I had a concussion, as well as three broken
ribs. When the cops came in the door,
he had me pinned to the floor and had his hands around my neck. I’ve never been so scared in my life, nor
have I ever been so powerless to stop him from killing me. Alex won’t be getting out of jail for a long
time.”
I had never heard
of anything so shocking in my life. I
knew spousal abuse happened, but I don’t know anyone who had firsthand
experience with an abusive partner. We
all sat in silence, trying to digest what we had just heard.
Rick was the
first one to recover from the barrage of tragic images that were painted for us
by Justin’s narrative. “Justin, you
said your parents wouldn’t even acknowledge you're their son when
the hospital called them.”
Justin
replied, “They hung up on the nurse who called from the emergency room. My Dad told her he didn’t have a son who
lived in Minneapolis and he cut the connection. My student health insurance covered some of
the expenses but I still have huge medical bills to pay. My health insurance at my new job doesn’t
cover pre-existing conditions, so it won’t pay for therapy or anything Alex did
to me. It’s been really difficult to
make ends meet, even with the new job.
My friend, Sarah, has helped me as much as she can, but she’s on a tight
budget, too. I haven’t been able to
make the payments on my car, so they repossessed it yesterday. I borrowed Sarah’s car to come here
tonight. I’m past due on the rent, and
I’m sure I’ll be evicted any day now.”
As Justin
fell silent, I could see that Justin was on the verge of a complete
breakdown. I said, “Guys I think we
should leave now.”
Justin said,
“Please don’t leave early. I’ll be
alright.”
Rick said,
“I agree with Glenn. Justin, where did
you park?”
“I parked
down the block,” Justin replied.
“We parked
there, too,” Rick said. “Let’s go. You will take us to your car and hand over
the gun. Then, Glenn will drive Sarah’s
car back to her house and then we are taking you to the hospital.”
Justin
followed us out of the bar. Once on the
street, Todd and Zach sandwiched him in between them, each with an arm around
his shoulders. We reached his car. He unlocked it. Rick said, “Now give me the keys and tell me
where you put the gun.”
Justin said,
“It’s in the glove box.”
Rick opened
the passenger side and opened the glove box.
He removed the pistol and the box of bullets he found there. He got out and said, “Okay, Glenn, I want
you to drive. Justin, I want you to
give Glenn directions to Sarah’s house.
We will follow you.”
Rick handed
me the keys and I got behind the wheel of the car. Justin climbed in on the passenger
side. Justin said, “Glenn, thank you
for helping me. You are so fortunate to
have Rick as your partner.”
“You’re
welcome, Justin. Yes, I know I did well
when I met Rick. How do I get to
Sarah’s?”
Justin
provided directions, as we chatted about Rick.
When we arrived, Justin took the keys inside to Sarah. Rick and I went inside with him. Sarah looked relieved to see Justin.
“I was
worried about you, Justin. I wasn’t
sure what you were going to do tonight, but I had a bad feeling about letting
you take my car,” Sarah said.
Justin
replied, “I’m okay, Sarah. These are my
friends, Glenn and Rick.”
We shook her
hand. “We are taking him to the
hospital to get him some help,” Rick said.
Sarah looked
surprised. “Why? What happened, Justin?”
Before
Justin could respond, Rick said, “He tried to commit suicide; so, we are taking
him to the hospital so he can get the help he needs.”
Sarah sat
heavily on the couch and put her face in her hands. Her whole body shook with her sobbing. She finally stopped crying and looked up at
Justin. “I knew you weren’t doing well,
but I never thought you would attempt suicide.”
“I’m sorry,
Sarah. I know I should’ve talked to you,
but I couldn’t. These two and their
friends managed to convince me I can make it, so I’m going with them to
the hospital. Everything will be okay,
Sarah.”
Sarah looked
at us and said, “Please, let me know how he’s doing.” She gave Justin a hard look. “Justin Cardin, don’t you ever think you’re
going to get out of this life without telling me first! I’ve invested too much in keeping you going
to let you take the easy way out!”
Justin
looked properly chastised. “I’m really,
really sorry, Sarah.”
“You’d
better be! Now, go with Rick and Glenn
and get the help you need,” Sarah said.
We left
Sarah’s place and climbed into Zach’s car.
Ben followed us to the hospital.
We entered the emergency room and registered with the triage nurse, who
told us to take a seat in the waiting area, and she would call us back when
they were ready to see us.
After nearly
three hours, Rick went up to the nurse to see if they had made any
progress. The nurse said, “We can’t see
him tonight. You’ll have to come back
tomorrow.”
Rick asked,
“How long have you known that information?”
Rick’s voice had gone very quiet.
The nurse
looked up at Rick and stood up and took a few steps away from him. She said, “I’m sorry. I should have let you know as soon as they
told me, but I’ve been very busy.”
Rick asked
again, “How long?”
The nurse
finally replied, “About an hour.”
“Next time,
don’t let me sit here for an hour, when you know that you are not going to do
anything for us,” Rick said, his voice left no room for misunderstanding. The nurse nodded her head, and I could see
her breathe a sigh of relief as Rick turned away from her.
Rick and I
returned to the waiting area. “Let’s go
home guys; these people have no intention of helping Justin. I think we need to make a few phone calls in
the morning to get things fired up around here,” Rick said.
Ben woke
Janice up, and we all went to our cars and made the trip back to our
house. It was nearly four in the
morning by the time we got everyone settled into a bed for the night.
*** ***
When we got
up the next morning, we found Robbie and Adam had made breakfast. Justin was sitting at the table with
them. He was smiling and seemed to be
in good spirits. We came in and sat
down at the table.
Rick asked, “You
guys have already met Justin, I take it?”
Robbie
answered, “Yes, I think he’s wonderful, and so does Adam. Do you think we could have a threesome with
you, Justin?”
Justin
blushed, “No, I think that wouldn’t be a very good idea.”
I laughed. “I see that you’re still up to no good, Robbie, making passes at every guy you
meet!”
Robbie
laughed. “It’s worked for me, so far. Why would I change?”
Rick
answered, “Why? Because you have a
boyfriend now, and should respect his feelings for you!”
Adam said,
“Yeah, you need to remember I’m your boyfriend now! However, a threesome sounds like fun!” Adam grinned from ear to ear as he looked
over at the now very embarrassed Justin.
I came to
Justin’s rescue, “Alright, guys! Enough
of your teasing! Justin, ignore these
two clowns. They are always looking to take
advantage of their elders!”
Justin
laughed. “They remind me of Mitch and
Jerry. They like to tease me as well.”
It was good
to hear Justin laugh. I hoped things will continue to improve for him.
Rick said,
“We need to call Grandpa soon, so we can get moving on that house Ben talked to
us about last night.”
Ben walked
in, just as Rick finished speaking. “I’ve already got the realtor’s contact
information. The house is two blocks down
the street, so I walked over to see if there were anymore flyers left.”
Ben handed
Rick the flyer. Rick looked it over,
before passing it over to me. It was a
six bedroom house, just like Ben said.
It was an older home with an addition.
I looked up at Rick. “I think
this would be a great investment for us.
What do you think?”
Rick said,
“I agree. Let’s call Grandpa.”
I pulled my
cell phone out and hit the speed dial for Grandpa. I put it on speaker, so everyone could hear
what Grandpa said. Grandpa picked up on
the second ring.
“Good
morning, Glenn. I hope everything is
going well for you and Rick,” Grandpa said.
“We’re fine,
Grandpa. I’ve got you on speaker phone,
so all of us can hear you. We have a
question to ask you,” I said.
“Okay, go
ahead,” Grandpa responded.
“Do you
still think it would be a good idea for us to buy a house up here in
Minneapolis?” I asked.
Grandpa
responded, “Yes, I do. Why? Have you found a house you like?”
“Yes, we
have. It’s a six bedroom place not far
from campus. It’s an older home, but it
has a new addition,” I said.
“Do you have
the realtor’s contact information?” Grandpa asked.
“Yes, we
do,” I replied, and read it to him.
“I’ll make
some phone calls and I’ll let you know what happens,” Grandpa said.
“Okay. Thanks, Grandpa,” I said.
“Good bye
for now,” Grandpa said.
“Bye,” I
responded.
I cut the
connection and looked around the room. “It looks like we’re going to be moving soon!”
Ben smiled,
“Sounds great to me.”
I looked
over at Justin, to see him smiling from ear to ear. I walked over and pulled him to his feet and
gave him a hug. “Everything will be
alright, Justin. You’ll see,” I said,
letting him go.
Robbie
asked, “Does this mean Justin is going to live with us?”
“Yes, it
does, but it doesn’t mean you get to have a threesome with Justin,” I said.
Robbie
smiled. “You’re such a spoil sport
sometimes, Glenn. Justin, welcome to
our family. Ben and Glenn have adopted
all of us into their family, and we’ve adopted them into ours.”
Adam nodded
his head. “It’s great the way these guys
have pulled us all together. My parents
are very impressed Ben and Glenn are willing to let Robbie live with them. I wish I could live with them, too, but my
parents have already paid for the dorm at the school.”
Robbie
laughed and said, “If you lived here, we’d never get any homework done! Besides, you’ll be here every weekend,
anyway, so I don’t think you’ll miss out on anything!”
Adam smiled.
“Robbie’s right. He’s so sexy I can’t keep my hands off of
him!”
With that
last comment, the boys left the kitchen and went upstairs. Ben asked, “Do you want to go see the
house?”
“Sure,” Rick
said. We each grabbed our jackets and
walked down the street to see the house.
*** ***
Later that
day, Grandpa called us back. He
explained the house had been vacant for about six weeks, since it had gone
into foreclosure. The bank was anxious
to sell it and was willing to close the deal as quickly as possible. Grandpa had made them an offer which the
bank had accepted. The paperwork was
being drawn up, and the appraisal, inspection, title search, etc., were already
scheduled to take place over the next couple of days.
We were all
excited to be moving into a bigger place.
Frank and Taka decided they would stay on in the old house. Taka’s friend, Kyle, had come back to school,
and was looking for a place to stay.
One of Kyle’s friends also needed a place to stay. I was relieved Ben and I didn’t have to
pay anything to get out of our part of the lease, since we found two students
who were willing to take our place.
Zach dropped
off Robbie and Adam at school, then dropped Justin at his office. Justin insisted he had to go into the office,
so we made him promise to ask for Tuesday off, so we could find him some help.
After Justin
returned from work, Rick and I called Grandpa, to ask his advice. We laid out all the facts and listened as he
walked us through what we should do. We
invited Justin to join us, and Grandpa asked him some questions we hadn’t
thought to ask. After about 20 minutes,
Grandpa outlined a course of action for us, and asked us for our thoughts.
Justin was
open to trying anything at this point to help him overcome his feelings of
depression and worthlessness. We said
good-bye to Grandpa and started making phone calls to find a good psychiatrist.
We didn’t
find anyone we were happy with. The
next day, after class, we followed Dr. Nohr to his office. Dr. Nohr opened the door to his office and
turned to us “What can I do for you two today?”
Rick asked,
“Can we talk to you for a few minutes?”
Dr. Nohr
smiled and said, “Why, of course.
Please come and sit down.”
We followed
him into this office and took the seats he indicated, in front of his
desk. He sat down and looked
expectantly at us.
“We have a
friend who tried to commit suicide over the weekend,” I said.
Dr. Nohr’s
expression showed his concern, as he asked, “How is your friend now?”
“He’s okay
for now. At least, he hasn’t harmed
himself, yet. Do you know of a good
psychiatrist who could work with him?” I asked.
Dr. Nohr
thought for a moment, then said, “I don’t know of one at the moment, but I can give you
the name of someone to call who does.
He is a good friend of mine who works at the Mayo Clinic. He should be able to assist you. If you will wait just a moment, I will give
him a call to confirm it’s okay for me to give you his contact
information.”
Dr. Nohr
picked up his phone and made the call, as we waited. He
spoke to a secretary who put him on hold.
A few minutes later, his friend came on the
line. “Hello, Eric,” Dr. Nohr said. He proceeded to explain the situation, and
asked if it was okay for us to call him.
Dr. Nohr wrote down some information and ended the call.
Dr. Nohr
said, “Eric gave me the name of a specialist here in Minneapolis. Here is her information. I’ve written down Eric’s information as well,
just in case Dr. Hansen can’t see you right away.”
Rick said,
“Thank you for your help, Dr. Nohr.”
Dr. Nohr
handed us the page from his notepad with the information. “Please let me know
if I can help. It makes me very sad to
know so many young people see suicide as their only option.”
I said,
“We’ll let you know how things are going.
Thank you so much, Dr. Nohr.”
We left his
office and we went to my next class.
When we returned from classes, Rick called Dr. Hansen’s office.
“Hello is
this Dr. Hansen’ office?” Rick asked.
“Yes, how
can I help you?” the receptionist asked.
He then related
what had happened and asked, “Are there any appointments available this week?”
“Yes, we
have two openings in the morning. Dr.
Hansen likes to spend an hour getting to know new patients. There is one at 9 AM, and another one, at 10
AM.”
“Okay, can I
book the first appointment for Justin Cardin?” Rick asked.
“Sure, if
you will wait a moment, I will enter it into the computer,” she responded. “Okay, I have an appointment for Justin at 9
AM. Is there anything else I can do for
you?”
The next
words out of Rick’s mouth took me by surprise. “I’d like to make a second appointment for
Glenn Nielsen, for 10 AM, if that’s okay?”
“What are
you doing?” I asked, with more than a little anger.
Rick ignored
me, as Dr. Hansen’s receptionist repeated back my name and the time of the
appointment tomorrow.
“Thank you
very much. We will see you tomorrow,”
Rick said, and ended the call.
Rick looked
at me and said, “Glenn, please don’t be angry with me. I want you to at least talk to Dr. Hansen
about what happened between you and John.
Will you do this for me, please?”
Rick pulled
me into his arms. I tried to pull away
from him, because I can’t think straight when he touches me. “Rick, let go of me, please,” I said, looking
him in the eye. “I want to talk this
through, and I don’t want to be distracted,” I said.
Rick kissed
me before letting me go. “I’m glad to hear you want to talk about
it. I’m not happy you don’t want
me to hold you as we talk.”
“I’m sorry,
sweetheart. I didn’t mean to hurt
you. I’ll let you hold me if you
promise not to distract me. You know I
can’t resist you when you touch me.
I’ve become so addicted to you I go crazy for your touch,” I said.
I moved back
into his arms and he pulled me down to sit next to him on our bed. “After our conversation the other night, I
made a promise to myself I would do whatever it takes to make you whole;
to restore everything John took from you,” Rick explained.
I turned in
his arms so I could look him in the eye. “Okay, I’m all for that. Next time, please talk to me about what you
intend to do. I’m not opposed to seeing
a psychiatrist, but it did catch me by surprise when you made an appointment
for me.”
“I’m sorry,
Glenn. I promise I won’t do to
you, again,” Rick said. “Can you
forgive me?”
“You know I
can’t stay angry with you! Of course, I
forgive you! I know you love me
and are trying to do your best to help me,” I said
Rick said,
“Please, always remember I love you.
If you do that, you won’t be angry when I do things you don’t understand,
or that catch you by surprise.”
I nodded my
head. “Now, I want you to make love to me, since we
have a few hours before everyone comes home.”
Rick grinned
and said, “I’m so glad we think alike.
That’s exactly what I had in mind.
I want to make sure everyone knows you’re loved!” Rick, as always, is a man of action and
didn’t waste any time fulfilling my request!
*** ***
Author’s
Note: The music that inspired this
chapter.
1. Josh Groban – You Are Loved -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGLSk3AVcUU
2. Lifehouse - Everything -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjDojEOiMcE
3. Matt Wertz - Feels So Right -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g46ZMnL5Ejk&feature=fvsr
4. Savage Garden – I Loved You Before I
Met You - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjnmICxvoVY
5. Anne Murray – You Needed Me -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pXQZL4HsUw&feature=fvst
6. Bette Midler – The Wind Beneath My
Wings - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9ZMDPf9hZw
7. Roxette – Reveal – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKIRpkNjkK8
8.
A-ha – Analogue -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDzLMpkdIuw
9.
Christian Castro – Azul -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29NM6ySmwfQ
4 comments:
Russ, This need not be for publication but thought since you checjed them you would see it at your leisure.
Great Chapter by the way., but it is also the first time in the whole series you have actually mentioned the type of sex you and Rick had been having. Considering that people often tend to look for graphic details, it says a lot about how good your story is that people keep reading it, just happy to know that you are making love without any "particulars" to get off on.
So again congratulations on your writing but I am pleased it has come up now as again so many people think in gay relationships there is always a top (Mr) and a bottom (Mrs) without understanding that many people love both ways as a form os showing and giving love and pleasure.
Love,
Phillip
xxx
This was a particularly hard chapter for me in regards to reading about Justin. I've been in his shoes in more ways then one. You did a wonderful job of capturing some of the emotions and thoughts that a person goes thru in those situations. So whereas it was difficult to read it was also at the same time, if this makes sense, reassuring and comforting. Thank-you for this wonderful story!
I love the stories of Rick and Glenn. I have read some of the later family story and it was hard reading Justin's chapter. They are willing to do so much to help but sometimes its never enough.
David Morse
Stoneham, MA USA
Thank you for your comments! It keeps me motivated to keep writing.
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