Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Man from Swift Current Chapter Twenty Eight - Reconciliation

Chapter Twenty Eight - Reconciliation

I had breakfast on the table when the guys entered the kitchen.   Keith wouldn’t look at me as he sat down at the table.  I noted with approval Rick had opted to get dressed so we wouldn’t make Keith so uncomfortable.   We both wore matching khaki cargo shorts and white t-shirts.   I couldn’t have planned it better to show Keith we're a couple in such a non-verbal way.  I smiled at Rick as he approached me.     

Rick gave me a big hug and a kiss. “Thanks for making breakfast, babe.”

“You're both welcome,” I said pointedly.   I continued, “I wanted to make sure we had a good breakfast this morning.”   I looked over at Keith to see his reaction to us.

Keith studiously looked at his plate and didn’t look up or acknowledge I had said anything.   This wasn’t going to be easy!   Rick had better realize just how much I love him to even attempt to cross the line and talk to Keith about anything given the closed and unwelcoming expression on Keith’s face.  

We said grace over the food and began eating in silence.   Rick started to say something but I signaled to him to wait.   I didn’t want this to turn into an angry shouting match.   I knew if that started I wouldn’t be able to stop all the hurtful and angry things from coming out and there wouldn’t be any chance of crossing the resulting chasm to have a dialog about Keith’s feelings towards me and Rick.   This was a conversation Keith would have to initiate on his own terms for this to work.   So we continued to sit in silence as we finished our meal.   I finished first and stood up to begin cleaning the kitchen.  

As I did, Rick said, “I’ll help with the clean up.”

Keith left the room in silence just as he had entered.  Rick and I did the dishes and wiped down the stove, countertops and the table.   Rick and I have become very efficient at keeping the kitchen clean.   I wash the dishes and Rick dries them and puts them away.   We went into the front room.   Rick sat in the big rocker-recliner and pulled me down to sit on his lap.   I love cuddling with him this way.   It makes me feel so warm and safe.   Today, I needed the comfort Rick provided in order to keep it all together.   My feelings and emotions towards my cousin were very close to the surface.

“So when are you going to talk to Keith?” Rick asked.

“That will depend on Keith.   He has yet to speak to me since he arrived last night!” I said with more than a hint of anger.

“Do you want me to invite him to sit down with us?” Rick asked hesitantly, knowing he was walking on egg shells with me with regards to my cousin.   I was trying really hard not to let my anger get the best of me.

I looked into Rick’s eyes and said, “No, if Keith wants to talk to me, he can come on his own accord without you dragging him into a conversation he doesn’t want to have.”

Just then Keith walked into the room and sat down on the couch across from us.   I tried to get up but Rick restrained me by putting his arms around my waist.   Rick whispered in my ear, “I’m not letting you go until I know you have your anger under control.”

Keith spoke then, “Guys, I can see you love each other.”  He still wouldn’t look at us but continued, “I’m not sure I can get past my feelings about two guys loving each other the way you two do.   It seems so wrong to me on so many levels.”

Keith’s statements just inflamed my anger.   As I started to respond, Rick planted a kiss on my lips, effectively shutting me up.   He whispered, “I love you.”

How could I stay angry when I had such a wonderful guy to help me try to become a better person?   I looked up to see Keith staring at us.

“Keith you are a very lucky person to have such a loyal friend who loves you even when you don’t approve of him or what he is doing,” I said scornfully. 

I continued, trying to put the hurt and anger I felt into every word, “Rick has been your advocate to get me to speak to you even after the many hurtful things you have said and done over the last few weeks.   I trusted you Keith.   I trusted you with my inner-most thoughts and feelings.   I thought you were not only my cousin but my best friend.   Someone I could count on to be there for me.   You told me you were okay with me being gay.   That it didn’t matter who I chose to love.   Those were all lies!   You betrayed the trust I placed in you.   You hurt me very deeply, Keith.” 

Rick reached up and brushed away the tears that had started to run down my cheeks.   I have always hated the fact I start to cry when I am really angry and upset.   It makes me seem to be out of control of my emotions when I’m not or at least I don’t think I’m out of control.

“Glenn, I thought I was okay with you being gay until I realized my best friend wanted you in that way.   I don’t want Rick to be gay!   I want Rick to always be the same old Rick I’ve always known.   Now he’s with you, I’m not sure how to act around him and I feel I’ve lost him somehow,” Keith said, the confusion he felt showing on his face.

“Keith, you start by acknowledging the fact Rick loves me and go from there.   Rick is still Rick.   He didn’t become diseased or grow a new appendage just because he has chosen me as his partner.   We are both better people because of the love we have for one another.   We aren’t going attack you and rape you if that’s what you're afraid of.” I said, laughing as Rick poked me in the ribs.  “Well, I won’t attack and rape you but Rick might!”

“Keith, I promise I won’t attack and rape you!   As long as I have Glenn, I don’t need anyone else,” Rick said, biting the back of my neck.   Shivers of desire ran up and down my spine as he kept giving me little love bites on my neck.

“Rick!   Stop it!   It’s hard enough for me to concentrate without you distracting me like that!” I said, laughing at Rick’s antics which were obviously having an effect on Keith.  

As I watched Keith’s face, I saw his reaction wasn’t the one of disgust I had expected to see, it was one of lust!   His eyes devoured our every move.   I glanced down at his crotch and saw he was tenting his shorts!   Keith’s problem wasn’t the fact I was gay.   It was because he wanted Rick to do to him what he was doing to me!   Keith was jealous!   That’s what his whole attitude was all about.   I just couldn’t quite wrap my mind around the idea that Keith just might be gay as well!  

I turned to Rick and whispered in his ear, “I think Keith wants you.   Just look at how he is watching you making out with me.”

Rick turned his head and started kissing me and whispered to me in between kisses, “Let’s test your theory shall we.”

Rick stood up with me in his arms and carried me over the couch and sat me next to Keith.   Keith’s watched us very closely.   Rick reached over and pulled Keith into an embrace and started kissing him.   At first Keith pulled away exclaiming loudly, “I’m not gay, Rick, leave me alone!”

But Rick continued to kiss him until he started to return Rick kisses.   Watching the two of them making out on the couch next to me was really turning me on.   I didn’t want to miss out on the action so I joined Rick and Keith.

A while later, we all lay naked on the floor exhausted with arms and legs intertwined.   I looked over at Keith and asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you liked guys, too?”

“I don’t like guys like you do.   I have just one guy I want to be with and that’s Rick.   I’m not attracted to other guys.   They just don’t do anything for me.  Ever since Rick and I fooled around with each other in high school, I've wanted to have sex with him but didn’t dare make any moves in that direction.   Rick has always been so completely straight I decided I wanted to remain friends with him rather than lose his friendship by trying to have sex with him.   When I saw he had fallen for you, it made me crazy with jealousy because you had what I always wanted.   I hated you at that moment and wanted to hurt you and try to separate you two.   When I saw you with Rick last night, I knew nothing I could do would change the fact he loved you and you loved him.”

Rick spoke up then, “I always suspected you wanted me in that way.   I didn’t want that kind of relationship with you after the rotten situation I had with Angie.   I wanted you to be my best friend and I was afraid if we became lovers you would turn on me like Angie did.”

“So what made the difference with me,” I asked, wanting to know the answer but at the same time scared to hear it.

“Like I've told you before, when I overheard how badly Ian treated you, it made me want to take you in my arms and protect you from the hurt and the pain.   I couldn’t keep you out of my heart,” Rick said, as he pulled me close and gently kissed my lips.

“So where does this leave me?” asked Keith, as he watched and felt the love between us.

Rick pulled Keith close on his other side and said, “It means I get you both if you are both in agreement.”  Rick looked over at me to gage my reaction.   I just nodded my head secure in the love Rick had for me.   I knew Rick loved Keith and wanted Keith to be happy.

“But I’m engaged to be married in a couple of weeks and I still love Kerry.  What am I going to do now?”  Keith put his head in his hands.   A moan of pure misery escaped his lips as he broke into tears and his body shook with the force of his sobs.

Rick wrapped his arms around Keith and held him tightly until the sobbing stopped and he finally looked up at Rick.

“Keith, do you really and truly love Kerry?”  Rick asked, looking deep into his friend’s eyes.

“I do really love her.   I want to marry her but I am so confused right now.   I just had the most mind blowing sexual experience of my life and it’s got me pretty shook up.   I want to be completely committed to her as she is to me,” Keith replied, his eyes still bright with tears.

“Having sex with us today doesn’t make you gay.   It also doesn’t mean you can’t be the committed husband you want to be,” Rick said earnestly.  “We have just fulfilled your dreams of having hot, wild sex and now you can go on ahead with your plans knowing we love you and will support you in your decision to marry Kerry.   You know I've always wanted you to be happy.” Rick paused as Keith nodded his head in the affirmative. 

Rick continued, “I knew you wouldn’t be completely happy being with me.   There would have been some part of you pulling you towards the girls.   It’s better this way, my friend.   You will be much happier married to Kerry than living with me.”  

Keith gave a smile of relief as he said, “Rick, I know you’re right.   I’m glad you two had sex with me.   It has helped me to accept the fact it’s okay for me to love you both.   Now I can understand how Glenn feels about you Rick.   You have got to be the hottest stud I know!”

“I’m glad you finally recognized that fact.   I’ve been trying to get that message across to you for a long time now!”   Rick pulled me close.  “Glenn new it from the moment he saw me.   Didn’t you?”

I started to blush as Rick ran his hands up and down my thigh and got an instant response as my body reacted to Rick’s touch.   Keith saw what was happening and started laughing.  “Glenn, Rick has certainly made you his!   You can’t hide it since it's standing straight up staring us in the face!”

Keith’s comment only made me blush even more.  The grin on Rick’s face signaled his intentions loud and clear.   I hoped Keith was ready to witness the hottest man on the planet make me the happiest guy alive!

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