Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Man from Swift Current Chapter Thirty Four - The Aftermath

Chapter Thirty Four – The Aftermath

We knocked on the door to my grandparents’ room.   Grandma opened it and invited us inside.   “I’m glad you boys are here.   It’s time to go over to the reception center.   We have a lot of work to do,” she said.   "Dear, are you ready?”

Grandpa replied, “Yes, I’m ready.”

We all went out to the parking lot.   Grandpa said to Rick, “Follow us over to the reception center.”

Rick nodded his head in acknowledgement and we climbed into Rick’s Jeep and followed my grandparents, as directed.   We soon pulled into the parking lot of the reception center.   Keith’s car was already parked near the entrance.   Rick parked the Jeep and we both jumped out to help Grandma take things out their trunk and haul them inside.

Once inside, Grandma directed us where to put what we were carrying.   Keith spotted us and came over with a big grin on his face.   He gave each of us a hug.   “I’m so glad to see you!   Can you believe it?   The big day is almost here!”

Rick grinned and said, “Yes, I can believe it.   You've been counting down the days ever since you got engaged!”

Keith asked incredulously, “I haven’t been that bad have I?”

“Yes, you have, sweetheart,” Kerry said as she joined us.   “Hello Rick and Glenn.  I'm very happy you made it.”

“We wouldn’t miss the biggest event to happen this side of the Mississippi!” Rick exclaimed.

Kerry laughed and asked, “It does seem like that doesn’t?”

“It does to me,” I said, laughing with her.

Grandma interrupted us, “Boys, I need some help here.”

Grandma soon had us helping with the decorations while she directed the reception center staff as to the placement of tables, etc.

We were soon joined by Katie, Joe, and Ruth Ann.   Ruth Ann immediately came over and gave me a hug and a quick kiss.   “I am so glad you came to help with the wedding preparations.   I've missed seeing you this summer,” she said, smiling up at me.

I looked up just in time to see Rick’s angry look as he stalked out of the room.   I knew I was really in trouble this time.   I pulled back from Ruth Ann’s embrace and turned to finish what I was doing.

Ruth Ann looked at me in hurt surprise.  “What’s wrong, Glenn?  Did I do something wrong?”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” I said, trying to decide how to tell Ruth Ann I was in love with Rick.   I guess I am too much of a coward because I couldn’t bring myself to tell her.   The rest of the day Rick didn’t say a word to me and avoided being in the same room with me.   Meanwhile, Ruth Ann stuck to me like glue!  Ruth Ann sensed  something wasn’t right but she didn’t press me about it.   Instead, we made small talk as we worked.  

Uncle Stan and Aunt Sharon arrived with more stuff which gave me the opportunity to break away from Ruth Ann long enough to try and talk to Rick.   I caught up to Rick in the parking lot as he went to help bring things inside.

“Rick, please, can we talk,” I begged him as I came up behind him.

Rick didn’t turn to look at me, as he said in a voice full of hurt and anger, “What is there to talk about.   It’s obvious you're still in love with Ruth Ann.”

“Rick, it’s true Ruth Ann is in love with me but it doesn’t mean I feel that way about her,” I said, hoping Rick would believe me.

Rick replied, in a voice heavy with sarcasm, “Is that so.”   He stepped around me and went inside leaving me standing there trying to find the words to respond to him.

That was the last thing he said to me, until we finished our work.   Grandma said, “Thank you for helping us, Glenn.   Let us buy dinner for you back at the hotel restaurant.”

I said, “You don’t have to buy dinner for us, Grandma.   We're happy to help.”

Grandpa said, in a tone of voice that didn’t allow any room for argument, “Glenn, we will see you at the hotel.”

I went to find Rick and tell him my grandparents planned to buy us dinner.   Instead of finding Rick, I found Ruth Ann waiting for me in the foyer.   “Glenn, are you and Rick coming over to our house for dinner tonight?”

“I don’t think so.   My grandparents are buying us dinner tonight for helping out with the wedding preparations,” I said, still looking around for Rick.   “Have you seen Rick?”

Ruth Ann said, “I think he went outside.   He doesn’t look very happy, Glenn.   I hope I didn’t offend him in any way.   I'll see you tomorrow then.”   Ruth Ann kissed me and held me in a tight embrace.   Letting me go, she said, “I love you.”

I responded, “I know.”   I turned away before she could say anything else and made my way out to the Jeep and found Rick sitting in the driver’s seat.   I climbed into the passenger’s seat and looked over at my sweetheart.   I started to speak, “Rick…” when Rick cut me off abruptly. 

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.”   Rick’s expression left no doubt he was very angry with me.

I snapped my mouth shut and sat in silence as Rick drove us back to the hotel.   My grandparents were just getting out of their car when we pulled into the parking lot.   Grandpa came over to the Jeep.  “Rick, I would like you to join us for dinner.”

Rick looked as if he would refuse when Grandma said, “Rick, I think you should join us for dinner.”

“Okay,” Rick said, in resignation.   I came up behind him and tried take his hand in mine.   He pulled back his hand as if my touch had burned him and turned away from me and followed my grandparents into the restaurant.

His rejection of me really hurt.   Tears stung my eyes but I wasn’t about to break down and cry in front of my grandparents.   Dinner was very uncomfortable since Rick wasn’t speaking to me.   He responded to my grandparents questions but otherwise didn’t participate in the conversation at the dinner table.   I didn’t even attempt to talk to him, knowing I wouldn’t get any response from him.

As we left the restaurant, Grandma said, “You had better do something to fix what’s wrong with your relationship, Glenn.   I think you know what’s wrong and only you can fix it.”

I nodded in response and followed Rick.   I caught up to him but I didn’t attempt to touch him as we returned to our hotel room.   I knew Rick was still simmering over what had happened with Ruth Ann at the reception center and earlier in the day at the Mitchell’s house.   He had been pretty distant all night.  Rick kept looking over at me with the look of wounded animal on his face and then he would quickly look away.   It broke my heart to see the hurt he was feeling so plainly written on his face.

He opened the door and entered the room.   I followed him into the room and closed the door.   I leaned up against it as I watched Rick strip down and go to the bathroom.  I know Rick’s still angry since he hasn’t looked at me or uttered a single word to me since we got up here.   I'm not sure how I'm going to break down the wall of silence Rick has thrown up between us. 

Eventually, I know he is going to want to talk about Ruth Ann and my feelings for her.   It was pretty hard for me not to show I was pleased to see her.   I’m not in love with Ruth Ann but that doesn’t mean I don’t value her as a friend.   She’s a very nice person and doesn’t deserve to be treated badly.  I just don’t know how I’m going to tell her Rick and I are lovers and life partners.   I at least owe her that.  

My thoughts returned to the night when she came to my room.   I remembered how badly I wanted to at least try to be a “normal” straight guy and see if things would work out with Ruth Ann.   I had never been with a girl before and part of me wanted to have that experience.   I wanted to know if I could be attracted to a girl the same way I was to guys.   I didn’t know if things would work out for us but at least we could enjoy each other’s company.   It wasn’t like I was seducing her or anything.   In fact, it was the other way around.  She had come to my bedroom and wanted to have sex with me!  

I know some people will call me extremely selfish, but I disagree because I know for a fact Ruth Ann wanted it as much as I did.   She even said as much our first night together.   Later that same night, she told me she knew about Ian and what had happened between us.   I remember feeling betrayed by Keith because he had promised me that he would not tell anyone about Ian and here Ruth Ann was telling me about it.   The only way she could have known about Ian was from Keith.  

She said she wanted to help me get over Ian.   Her exact words were, “A guy as handsome as you are can’t be gay.   I want to be the one who helps you forget about being with guys.   I know we can do this together.”   Her words made it sound like being gay was some kind of an addiction I needed therapy to overcome – like alcoholism or smoking.   At the time, I wasn’t really paying attention to her words since all I wanted was to have sex with her; but now what she said just made me angry.   Being gay is who I am.   It’s not some drug addiction or something I can just turn off and on like I change clothes every day.   I don’t wake up asking myself, “Should I be gay or straight today?”   Yes, Ruth Ann and I enjoyed having sex but it didn’t change who I am just like a straight person doesn’t become gay when they have sex with a member of the same sex.   The point is who they are still remains the same.   My thoughts were brought back to the present as I heard the bathroom door open.

Rick came out to the bathroom and climbed into bed not even looking up to see if I was coming to bed or not.   When I saw the look on his face, I didn’t dare say anything.   I slowly went into the bathroom he had just vacated and looked myself in the mirror.   “You are in one hell of a mess, Glenn Nielsen.   Why didn’t you tell Ruth Ann to leave you alone instead of letting her kiss you like that in front of your boyfriend?   Now you had better fix the situation with Rick before it gets any worse,” I said to myself.   I took care of my physical needs and stripped off my clothes and threw them on top of Rick’s at the foot of the bed and climbed in beside my boyfriend.

Rick had rolled over with his back towards me.   This wasn’t a good sign.   We have never ever had this kind of thing happen between us before now.   I wasn’t sure what to do.   He was giving me the cold shoulder quite literally!   I did the only thing I could do.   I reached out and started to massage his shoulders. 

 At first, he stiffened as if to say, “Get your hands off of me!” but he soon relaxed under my ministrations.   That was a good sign!  At least, he didn’t reject me completely.   I kept at it until he was completely relaxed.   His neck and shoulder muscles were in knots when I started.   I felt the tension leave them as I continued to work on them.   He allowed me to push him over on his stomach and I straddled his legs as I continued to massage the rest of the muscles in his back.  

I love working on my guy!  The feel of his muscles under my hands is truly amazing.   As I worked on the muscles of his lower back and buttocks, I was getting really turned on and I hoped that Rick was too.  I knew if I could Rick get aroused enough maybe we could let all the tension out with some really great sex, the rougher the better as far as I’m concerned!   Once all the emotions are drained out, maybe we could actually talk things out between us.

I kept at my work intentionally playing with his anus as I massaged his buttocks.   I know that rimming him drives him absolutely over the edge so I pushed his legs apart and spread his well-muscled cheeks as I paid homage to one of my favorite parts of Rick’s anatomy.   It wasn’t long before Rick began to pant and buck.   I pulled on his ball bag as I continued using my tongue to drive him over the edge.

“Glenn, please stop!   I’m going to cum and I don’t want to mess up the sheets,” Rick begged.

I smiled at my success in getting Rick to at least speak to me. “Okay, I will stop only if you will promise to make love to me.   You know the rougher the sex the better I like it!”

I moved off of Rick and he wordlessly rolled me onto my back and put my legs up over his shoulders as he positioned himself to do as I asked.   The look in his eyes made my heart skip a beat.   His lips captured mine as he made me his.  

Rick didn’t disappoint me at all!   It was the most intensely hot, rough, raw sex we have ever had and it achieved the purpose I had intended.   Rick rolled off of me and pulled me into his arms and gently kissed me.

“Thanks, Babe.   I really needed that.   I’m sorry I’ve been so sullen tonight.   I know intellectually I shouldn’t be angry with you because you have told me you aren’t in love with Ruth Ann, but my heart is still hurting from my parents’ rejection of me.   That is why I am so super sensitive to any possibility I could lose you.”

In the dim light emitted by the digital alarm clock, I could see the tears running down Rick’s cheeks.   Man!   This was going to be harder than I thought to work through this thing.   Then what Rick had said hit me, it really wasn’t about Ruth Ann at all.   All of these emotions were more about what had happened this morning with Rick’s parents.   How could I be so blind not to see Rick needed reassurance he's okay and his parents will eventually come around to the idea of having a gay son?

“Rick, listen to me please.   I’m really sorry about Ruth Ann and how she was all over me, but I understand now this isn’t really about Ruth Ann and me.  I should have figured out this is about what happened this morning at your parents’ house.   You've had a really rough day, sweetheart.   I’m really, really sorry I haven’t been as supportive of you as I need to be.   I know you're hurting pretty badly from the way your parents handled finding out about you being gay.   Can you forgive me?”

I felt Rick shudder as silent sobs wracked his body.   I felt the tears as they showered down onto the hand I had put up to his face to comfort him.   I pulled him closer to me and hugged him tightly.  

I whispered in Rick’s ear, “It’s okay, Babe.   It’s okay.   Let it all out.   It’s alright to let the hurt come out.   I’m right here with you and I’m not going anywhere.   You’re safe with me.   Between me and my family, we have a special place for you to call home and a family who loves you.   You're my family, Rick.   I want us to always be a family.  I love you.”

Rick responded by hugging me in return and laying his head on my shoulder. It wasn’t long before Rick’s sobs stopped and his body relaxed against mine.   I could tell by his regular breathing he’d fallen asleep.   Maybe it was better he get some sleep before we talked things out between us.   I know Rick is emotionally drained right now.   Even though I was tired, my mind just wouldn’t shut down.   I kept going over and over in my mind how I was going to approach Ruth Ann to tell her I was in love with someone else and that someone else was Rick.

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