Chapter Two - The Beginning
I awoke in a cold sweat.
I remembered my nightmare so vividly that it kept replaying in my head. I’d had this recurring nightmare every night
for a while now.
In my dream, I was just coming down the stairs from my
room when I heard my Dad shouting from the front room. Dad doesn’t yell very often, so something
really bad must have happened. I walked
down the hall and into the front room.
I was shocked by what I saw. Randy was crying and his friend, Shawn, was
holding him close to him. As I watched
Dad shouted at them, “I will NOT have faggots in my home! I no longer have a son! As far as I’m concerned, you are dead to
me! I want both of you out of my house
as soon as you can get your stuff loaded in the car!”
Mom spoke up then, “Don, surely you don’t mean that?”
I hadn’t notice her until she spoke. I could see she was very upset.
“Eva, I meant every word.
No good Christian should tolerate sinners living in their home. You know as well as I do that being a
homosexual is unnatural and should be stamped out! How can you not see that?”
Shawn spoke, “Sir, you speak of being Christian, but you
are about as unchristian a man as I have ever met. Do you think that treating your son this way
somehow makes you a saint? In my book,
you are as big a hypocrite as those who crucified Jesus, because he tried to
teach them to live the spirit of his laws not just the outward
appearances. You are worse than they
are.’
“How dare you try to tell me anything about being a
Christian? You are too blinded by your
sin,” Dad said, heatedly.
Randy finally spoke up, “Dad you are blinded by your
hatred and your prejudices! Shawn and I
will never, ever, return to your home and rest assured I will make sure my
siblings know what kind of lies you have been telling us all these years! How you have lied to us when you said that you
love us unconditionally and would always be there for us, no matter what we did. I counted on you being there for me now,
when I need you the most; but, your hatred and prejudice has overcome any love
you ever had for me. I can see now that
I never really had a father. I just had
someone who pretended to be one to keep up appearances for all his so
called ‘Christian’ friends. I hope my
brothers and sister wise up and learn never to trust you, before they are
betrayed by you when they need you most!
Let’s go Shawn. We aren’t wanted
here and I don’t want to be somewhere where I’m not wanted.”
Randy and Shawn pushed past me as I backed out to the
doorway to the front room. I was in
total shock! First, I had just found
out my brother was gay and that Shawn was his partner. Second, that my Dad had just disowned them.
Dad turned to me and said, “And what are you looking
at? Are you a homosexual, too? It would just be my luck to have two sons
who are so fucked up as to want to do it with a guy. Are you going to be the next one I throw out
of my house?”
“No, Dad,” I said, my knees knocking together at the
sudden verbal attack.
“I haven’t seen you dating any girls, or even talking
about them. It makes me wonder. Your older brothers were intensely interested
in girls by the time they were your age.
You had better make sure you aren’t the next one to get thrown out of
this family! I won’t tolerate sinners
here.”
I nodded my head and quickly turned around and went back
upstairs to my room. I was too shell
shocked to do anything else.
In my dreams, I had relived that scene over and over,
again. The thought of Dad finding out
that I’m interested in guys gave me chills.
Am I gay? I don’t know. But I do know that I’m not overly interested
in girls.
Suddenly, my bedroom door burst open and my little sister
shouted through the door, “Get up lazy bones.
It’s time to head into town. Come
on! Mom has breakfast on the table
already!”
“Okay, I’m coming.
Just let me get showered first!” I shouted back at her.
“I won’t promise you anything. You’ll be left behind, if you don’t hurry
up!”
“Nancy, can’t a guy get a break around here!”
“No, especially if your name’s Glenn. Come on get up and get dressed and let’s
go!” Nancy shouted at the top of her lungs, as she headed downstairs to
breakfast.
“Come one, Glenn, let’s get it together,” I thought to
myself. I rolled out of bed and made my
way to the bathroom to relieve myself.
After Dad threw Randy out of the house for being gay, I needed to be
especially careful. My memory of that
day will be burned into my head for a very long time to come. In fact, as already noted, I dream about it
often. It happened about three months
ago. Randy brought home his lover Shawn
to visit the family. On the second day
of their visit, Randy and Shawn sat down with Mom and Dad to talk about their
relationship. It ended in a very ugly
scene, with Dad shouting at both of them to get out his house and to never come
back.
They packed up their things and we haven’t heard from them
since. Mom cried for days and Dad told
us never to mention Randy’s name again in his presence. Eric, Nancy and I had tip-toed around the
house for weeks, trying to keep a low profile.
We were all completely devastated by Dad’s insistence that Randy was no
longer part of our family. We have
always been a loving family. None of us
expected that something like this could happen to us.
I’m sure Randy felt he would find us (especially our
parents) to be supportive of him and his choices. Both Mom and Dad have always told us that
they loved us unconditionally and that no matter what we did they would be
there for us. Well, that turned out to
be the biggest lie ever told! Dad
wasn’t understanding, or supportive, and was completely the opposite of what he
had told us all these years. It made me
question everything else about our home life.
It made me think it was all for show.
I felt betrayed by the ones I trusted most in my life.
I felt so uncertain and confused, in addition to being
angry. The problem now is that I think
I’m gay. I have always had an
attraction to other guys; but, until Randy came home with Shawn, I hadn’t
really admitted it to myself. Dad’s
reaction seemed to be a catalyst for me.
It caused me to really examine my attitudes towards gays and whether I
could apply that label to myself. I hate
labels! Why should I be strait-jacketed
into a tidy little corner called gay or straight? Can’t I be both and be happy with who I am? Do I have to be one or the other? Does it have to be either or? So many questions….I just can’t figure it
all out!
I’ve never had any real interest in girls. Yeah, I have a lot of friends who are girls
but that’s as far as it goes. I even
dated a few of them once in a while to try and fit in with the rest of the guys
at school.
All of these thoughts keep running through my mind, as I
look at myself in the mirror. I’ve got to
get moving before Nancy comes back to get me.
After a quick shower, I pulled on my clothes and ran down the stairs,
following the smell of bacon and fresh coffee.
“Good morning, Mom,” I said. “When are we leaving for
Swift Current?”
“Right after breakfast, dear. Hurry and finish your breakfast, so we can
get on the road. You know how impatient
your father gets, if he has to wait,”
Mom said.
I looked across the table at Mom. It was like looking in the mirror at myself
- blond hair, grey-blue eyes and a deeply tanned face. Mom is tall for a woman at 173 cm. (5’8”)
and very slender. Mom always looks like
she just popped off the cover of a fashion magazine. I had barely passed Mom up in the height
department just a few months ago. I’m
so glad to finally be able to put a stop to my brothers’ teasing me about my
height. They all got their height early,
and are all over 183 cm. (6”). Even my
sister, Nancy, used to be taller than me at 173 cm. (5’8”) like my Mom. I am still the shortest boy in the family at
175 (5’9”) (we already talked about this bit of data, remember), but they can’t
call me “Runt” anymore (or least I hope they don’t).
Mom smiled at me and ruffled my hair, as she went back to
cleaning up the kitchen in preparation for leaving for the day. I quickly finished my breakfast and helped
Mom do up the remaining dishes and wiped down the countertops and the table.
“Thank you for helping me, Glenn. You are a good son.” Mom said.
I gave her a quick hug, when I saw the tears shining in her eyes. I knew she was thinking of Randy.
“Are you okay, Mom?” I asked.
“I’ll be fine. Run
upstairs and get your things. We don’t
want to keep your Dad waiting.” Mom
said.
I ran upstairs and grabbed my duffle bag and met Nancy
coming down the hall with her things.
“I can’t wait to get to Uncle Dave’s house,” Nancy
said. “It’s been like a morgue around
here ever since Randy left”
“Shh!! Nancy, you
know how angry Dad gets if you say his name in the house,” I said.
“I know; but, Dad is wrong this time!” Nancy said.
“I agree and so does Mom, but that doesn’t change things.”
“So what are you two whispering about?” asked my brother,
Eric, as he came up behind us.
We both jumped at the sound of Eric’s voice.
“Oh, nothing in particular,” Nancy said, quickly.
Too quickly, since Eric came back with a long drawn out,
“Ooh, Really!!”
“We were just talking about Randy, Eric,” I said.
“You know Dad’s feelings about that,” Eric said.
“Yeah, we do and it’s not right. Randy is still our brother!” I said.
“You two had better get going. Dad has already honked the horn twice! If you don’t go now, he will come storming in
here.” Eric said.
We both gave Eric a quick hug. “We’ll see you at the end of week. I wish you could come with us to Uncle
Dave’s house, too.” I said.
“I wish I could come, as well; but somebody has to help
Dad here on the farm.” Eric said.
“Take care of Mom while we’re gone. You know how sad she’s been since Randy
left,” Nancy said.
“I will. Now hurry
up!” Eric said.
I looked around the farm, as I walked from the house to
the car. There are wheat fields as far
as the eye can see with an occasional line of trees shielding a farmhouse from the
wind, or defining the property line between neighboring farms. I have spent my entire life on this
farm. It’s been a good place to grow
up. I can’t believe that my whole world
view has changed since Randy’s visit.
Before that whole episode in my life, I had never considered that I
would ever leave this place. But now, I
know I can’t stay here and be true to myself.
I don’t want to have to always be pretending to be something I’m
not. If I ever slipped and let on that
I liked guys, Dad would disown me just like he did Randy. I am so glad Uncle Dave asked me and Nancy
to stay with them for a week in Swift Current.
Dad had the trunk of the car open, impatiently waiting for
me and Nancy to stow our gear. We threw
our stuff in the trunk. Dad slammed the
trunk lid shut and jumped into the driver’s seat, as Nancy and I climbed into
the back.
The trip into town was uneventful. Nancy and I listened to some music on our
MP3 Players (Dad doesn’t believe in spending a lot of money for name brand
stuff like IPods). Mom and Dad didn’t
talk much, other than to comment on this farm or that one, as we passed. When we arrived at Uncle Dave’s house, my
cousins, Ben and Cynthia, bounded down their front steps to greet us. They were both excited to have us stay with
them for a week.
Cynthia grabbed Nancy by the hand
saying, “I’m so glad you’re here! Come to
my room. I want to show you
something!” Cynthia and Nancy quickly
disappeared into the house, both of them talking at the same time.
As Ben came up to me, I checked out all 170 cm. (5’7”) of
him from head to toe, with my new awareness of how I felt about guys. For the first time, I noticed what a good
looking guy Ben had become. Ben is the
same age as I am…17 and an avid hockey player.
Ben’s smile lights up his entire face, making his green eyes sparkle
under his unruly mop of dark brown hair. His smile is so contagious I can’t help but
smile back at him. He grabbed me in a
bear hug and lifted me off the ground in his enthusiasm.
“Okay, okay, you can put me down now,” I said, just a
little out of breath from being mauled by this bear of a young man who was my
cousin. “You’ve been working out,
Cuz’!”
“You bet! I’ve got
to make up with muscle what I didn’t get in height! Besides, I have to be able to muscle my way
around the ice. Otherwise, I’ll always
end up on my butt on the ice!” said Ben, grinning broadly.
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore! Just don’t try any of your tricks on me,
okay!” I said.
“Hey, you’ve grown a couple of inches on me since you here
were last,” said Ben.
“Yeah, I grew 3 inches over the summer. Mom is complaining about having to buy new
clothes, again,” I said.
“If you keep growing at that rate, you’ll pass up your
brothers! Come on, let’s get your stuff
and put it in my room. We have a lot of
catching up to do. We haven’t been
together, since before we got out of school last spring.” Ben said.
“Boys, take Nancy’s stuff to Cynthia’s room while you’re
at it,” said Uncle Dave.
“Sure thing, Dad,” Ben said.
My Dad popped the trunk open and went inside with his
brother, leaving us to bring in the bags.
As we hauled our stuff inside the house, Ben kept looking
over at me.
Finally, I asked, “What’s up with the looks, man!”
“I just can’t believe you passed me up. You have always been the shortest one in the
family, saving me from having that title.”
“Sorry about that, dude.
I’m so glad to pass on the title to someone who so deserves it!” I
said. This caused Ben to come up and smack
me along the side my head.
“That’s for being smart with your best cousin!” Ben said,
laughing at my wounded look. “Looks like
I’ll have to teach you to respect for your betters, before we are through this
week!”
“Yeah, I’d like to see you try, Short Stuff! You’re not as tough as you seem!” I said.
We continued our bantering back and forth like the good
friends we are, as we went into the house with our bags. We have been each other’s best friend since
we were little. Our dad’s have always
been close, and we have spent a lot of time at each others’ homes over the
years.
Entering Ben’s room, I threw myself on his bed and
stretched out. Ben sat down at his desk
and turned to me and said, “I wish you could stay here in Swift Current for our
senior year. It would be so cool! We could have so much fun.”
“It would certainly beat being down on the farm!” I
said. If only we could convince my Dad,
I thought to myself.
“Do you want to play some video games?” Ben asked.
“Sure, let’s go! I
can’t wait to show you who is the real master here!” I said.
“Well, it certainly isn’t you! You can’t hold a candle to my superior
intellect and reflexes!” responded Ben.
“Like I said, you’re all talk and very little action! Let’s see if you can put some reality into
those words of yours,” I said.
We headed into the family room and turned on the TV and
hooked up the video games. Ben handed me
a controller and he took the other one.
Pretty soon we were deeply involved in a game. We are good friends, but we are also very
competitive when it comes to video games.
Things can get pretty intense when it comes to playing each other.
After a while, Mom came into the family room to give me a
hug and kiss good-bye. “Be good and
listen to your Aunt and Uncle,” she said.
“Come out and say good-by to your Dad, sweetheart.”
I just gave her a look that said, “Are you kidding! Why would I want to do that?”
“Please, son, do it for me,” she pleaded. She and I have had many conversations over
the summer, and she knows how I feel about Dad right now. She also knows that she can get me to do
just about anything when she uses that tone of voice on me.
“Okay, just remember I’m doing it for you, and not him,” I
said, heaving a big sigh of resignation as I dragged myself to my feet.
I walked out the front door and up to my dad. I gave him a quick hug and said, “Drive
safely Dad. See you in week.”
Dad hugged me back, and said, “See you later, son.”
Both he and mom waved to all of us standing in the
driveway, as they pulled away from the curb and headed back home. Watching them leave left me feeling
liberated from the heaviness that had plagued our home for months. It was like having a big weight lifted off
of my shoulders.
Nancy and I had a wonderful time with our cousins over the
next week. We hung out with their
friends, played games, and watched videos.
Every once in a while, I would get to thinking about Randy and his
boyfriend and how my Dad had reacted to their news. I would get really quiet and moody. It worried me that my Dad would react the
same way to me if he found out about me.
Uncle Dave must have noticed my pensiveness around the house, because he
suggested that I accompany him on a quick flight to Moose Jaw to see one of his
friends. Uncle Dave had a way of knowing
just what to say to get me to talk to him.
I knew from past experience that I could trust him with my closest
secrets. He parked the car at the
airport, filed his flight plans and walked over to his plane. He opened the door to let me climb in ahead
of him.
I love flying planes.
I have had a fascination with airplanes all of my life. I have been a passenger with Uncle Dave in
his plane many times over the years.
This time, Uncle Dave even let me take the controls, once we were in the
air. Uncle Dave loves flying, too. As I said earlier, Uncle Dave has always
known what to say and what to do to get me to talk. Our flight to Moose Jaw was no exception.
“Okay, Glenn.
What’s been bothering you?
You’ve been pretty quiet all week and that’s not normal for you”
I just sat there thinking, trying to figure out if he had
guessed that I’m gay. What will he say
if I tell him I think I’m gay?
“Glenn, you know you can always talk to me. It can wait until you’re ready….no pressure
here”
That was all it took for me to begin to unload all of the
pent up feelings of hurt and anger I had been keeping bottled up inside me all
summer.
“Uncle Dave, I am so angry with my Dad. He has disowned Randy and told him never to
return home, again.”
“Why is that?” he asked.
“Randy brought his lover home and told Mom and Dad he was
gay.”
“Oh….I didn’t know Randy had brought home his boyfriend,”
Uncle David said, with a little bit of surprise in his voice.
“Dad always said he loved us unconditionally and it didn’t
matter what we did that he would always love us. How can that be true when he can’t love
Randy just because he’s gay?”
Uncle Dave replied, “I didn’t realize your Dad was so
intolerant and prejudiced against gays that he would disown his own son.”
“It has hurt all of us.
It’s been really bad all summer, ever since Randy left. Sometimes I catch Mom crying when she thinks
no one is around. I’m tired of the
tension and the fear I feel at home. I
feel like I’m going to burst from the frustration and the anger I feel at being
betrayed by Dad. How can I trust him to
really love me when he can’t love Randy, despite his feelings about his sexual
orientation? In fact, I think I might
be gay and how will Dad treat me if he ever found out? The same way he did Randy by kicking me out
of the house?”
“So are you telling me you’re gay?” asked Uncle Dave.
“I don’t know….I’m so confused right now. I get so angry at Dad at times that I feel
like telling him I’m gay, too, just to spite him. Am I into guys? I’ve never been with one, so I don’t really
know. I’ve dated girls, but nothing
serious has ever happened. After a few
dates, we decide that we’re friends, but that’s it. I just find it easier to be around the guys.”
Uncle Dave said, “Glenn, thank you for sharing your
thoughts with me. I didn’t know what
happened with Randy until you told me just now. I’m not surprised that Randy found a
boyfriend in Vancouver.”
At this last statement, I looked at Uncle Dave in shock
and surprise.
“Don’t look so shocked.
Remember, Randy stayed with us for the last half of his senior year of
high school, after the trouble he had down at Kincaid Central. He always seemed to hook up with cute guys
and wasn’t exactly shy about showing his interest in them. Randy is a good looking guy and likes to
flirt. Your Aunt Mary figured it out
first and clued me one night after Randy and his boyfriend left to go to the
movies one evening.”
“So being gay is okay with you?” I asked.
“It’s okay as long as that’s what makes you happy. Just remember being gay is choice not
something you have at birth. Do I
approve? No I don’t. Can I accept the fact that some guys are
gay? Yes. Can I treat gays with dignity
and respect? Yes. You should always treat others with kindness
and respect, even if you don’t agree with them.”
“But, Uncle Dave, being gay is not a choice. I don’t think that Randy CHOSE to be gay,” I
said. “Why would I choose to be gay,
when so many people hate gays?”
He thought for a moment.
“Maybe your right about it not being a choice, but just to be clear,
Glenn, you certainly don’t need my approval, by any means, if your choice is to
be gay. I’m not deeply religious and
being gay doesn’t bother me from that perspective, but there are plenty of
challenges to face in life without bringing on the additional ones that being
gay in our society throws at you. Being
gay requires a lot of courage, as well as a lot mental and emotional strength,
to be able to withstand the pressures and prejudices in our world today.”
“I know that being gay can be hard, especially at school,”
I said. “The guys at school throw
around a lot anti-gay comments.”
“Yeah, that’s an understatement. Teenagers are not very tolerant of those who
are different than themselves. They
feel threatened by anything they don’t understand, or that is unknown to
them. There aren’t very many teens that
have the maturity to deal with someone who is gay. Many of them, jocks especially, feel
threatened somehow by gay guys. This
leads them to verbal, mental and emotional abuse and sometimes violence to help
silence their own fears and/or hide their own sexual uncertainty.”
“Wow, I didn’t think you would be so understanding, Uncle
Dave! My Dad certainly isn’t!” I said.
“Well, one of my best friends in college was gay. Unfortunately, he was beaten to death by
members of the university football team one night on the way home from football
practice. The police tried to portray
the incident as self-defense on the part of the perpetrators and didn’t press
charges. It wasn’t until we held student
protests on campus and signed petitions to have the police chief removed from
his position that a real murder investigation was conducted. When the case came to trial, they were
convicted of man-slaughter and given reduced sentences. It was like someone being gay gave them
license to kill, and the judge and jury sought to validate that right by giving
them a slap on the wrist.”
“So, if you decide you are really gay, please be very
careful about who you trust with that information, Glenn,” Uncle Dave
said. “I don’t want you to get hurt in
any way, because of the labels people will put on you, or the actions people
take based on those labels.”
“Labels are dangerous things because people tend to put
labels on you and expect you to behave in certain ways. Labels cause people to ignore the fact that
human beings are very complex creatures.
Labels put up fences to protect the ignorant from themselves and their
fear of the unknown and the uncertainty that comes with an ever changing
world. If they can just put a label on
it, it will become solid and knowable…predictable. It also is very limiting and prevents us
from seeing the true potential of each individual human being. I hope that people can someday learn to
accept each person for who they are instead of forcing them to accept a “label”
or fit a “stereotype” that makes them feel comfortable.”
“Sorry for the philosophy lesson, Glenn. I get a little passionate about treating
people with respect and dignity.
Believe it or not, your Dad and I share many of the same views on
life. That’s why I was so surprised to
hear your Dad’s reaction to Randy and his boyfriend. Here, let me take over the controls so we can
land this puppy safely,” said Uncle Dave.
“It’s the hardest part of flying…getting the plane safely on the ground
without crashing it!”
“Uncle Dave, you still keep saying that being gay is a
choice. Why do you feel that it’s a
choice?” I asked. “You keep saying that
you would be okay if I CHOOSE to be gay.
I don’t think it’s a matter of choice.”
He didn’t answer right away. Finally, he said, “I have always thought
that guys were attracted to the opposite sex, and only CHOSE to have sex with
guys because they couldn’t get enough sex from the girls. I guess I have a lot of misconceptions about
what it means to be gay.”
Uncle Dave landed the aircraft smoothly next to the
farmhouse on his friend’s fallow field.
We had a nice visit with his friends and we had a good flight back to
Swift Current later that evening. Our
conversation on the way out really set me to thinking about who I am. Uncle Dave didn’t press me into talking
anymore about it on the way back. We
sat in a comfortable silence, except for a few general comments about how
smooth the flight was going.
Later that night as I lay in bed, I couldn’t get my brain
to shut down. I kept going over and
over in my head what Uncle Dave had said.
Was I really gay? Or did I just
need to give myself time to figure things out?
Why didn’t I seem to have the same interest in girls, as all the other
guys? I had fantasies about both girls
and guys sometimes; but, lately, they had all been about being with a guy. Why did Uncle Dave think it was a choice to
be gay? The explanation he gave me on the
plane really didn’t tell me why he thought being gay was a choice. There were so many questions and no real
answers. After what seemed like forever,
I finally fell asleep from pure mental exhaustion.
As we ate breakfast the next morning, Uncle Dave asked,
“How would you and Nancy like to stay in town with us for the school
year?” Both Nancy and I said, “YES!!” at
the same time, practically bouncing up and down in our seats with excitement at
the prospect of getting away from the farm for the whole school year!
“But how are you going to convince Dad to let us stay
here?” I asked.
“Your Aunt Mary and I will talk with your parents tonight
when they come to pick you up,” said Uncle Dave. Looking directly at me, he said, “Just let us
handle the negotiations with your Dad.”
“You know how over-protective Dad is of me,’ said
Nancy. “He isn’t going to be very
willing to let me out of his sight. I
feel like he is smothering me. I can’t
even have a phone conversation with a guy without getting a lecture from
Dad. Staying here and going to school
with Cynthia would be like a dream come true!”
“Just because you’re not at home, doesn’t mean we don’t
have rules here, too,’ responded Uncle Dave. “In fact we should probably talk
about that now. On school days, curfew
is 9 o’clock and bedtime is 10 o’clock.
Curfew on weekends is 10 o’clock and bedtime is 12 midnight. Both Ben and Cynthia know this already. No members of the opposite sex are allowed
in your bedrooms at any time. No
alcohol, tobacco products and no drugs.
Looking at Ben and Cynthia, he asked, “Do you two want to
share rooms with Glenn and Cynthia, or have them stay in the spare bedrooms?
We all looked at each other for a moment, then, said at
the same time, “We’ll share rooms!”
“Well, since you all seem to have agreed to share rooms
this year. Do you want bunk beds or
regular beds?”
We all looked at each other again for a moment then Ben
and I said, “Regular beds” The girls
conferred among themselves before Cynthia announced, “We want bunk beds,
Dad. That way there will still be room
for two desks as well as the extra dresser for Nancy”
Uncle Dave turned to Ben and asked, “So, where do you boys
plan to put another dresser and a desk?”
Ben said, “We will put the dressers in the closet, so the
desk will fit in the room. I don’t
really need the desk, since I usually get my studies done between the time
after school and the beginning of hockey practice. If I need to, I can study at the kitchen
table.”
The prospect of staying in town to go to school had all of
us excitedly planning what we would do to organize the bedrooms, and talking
about the things we were going to do at school. After helping to clear the table and wash
the dishes, we split up to our separate rooms, excitedly talking among
ourselves.
Ben and I were sitting on his bed talking about our plans
when I said, “I don’t think Dad will let us stay. You know how protective he is of Nancy. He doesn’t think much of city folk and hates
coming into Swift Current. Mom is the
one who drives into town to get supplies and to visit with family.”
Ben said, “Yeah, you’re right, but Dad can be very
persuasive and so can Mom. I bet that
your Dad will jump at the chance to have you out of the house. It’s Nancy he won’t let stay.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I said. “Dad and I have never seen eye-to-eye. He doesn’t like to be challenged by
anyone. His word is law around our
house and I seem to always confront him about things, and try to push him to
change his mind. The only one in the
family who has been able to escape is Randy.
After Randy and his lover left, Dad didn’t speak to anybody for almost
two weeks. Randy has a job with the
Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP).”
“How does Randy like the RCMP?” asked Ben
“He loves it! I
only wish I could join him in Vancouver, but I know Dad won’t even let us think
of driving out to see Randy. He won’t
even let us mention his name in his presence.”
Ben said, “I didn’t know he was so upset about Randy. Mom and Dad have never said anything about
it. Change of subject, dude, let’s make
a list of the things we want to do this school year. I have got so many plans for you, cuz!. We are going to just knock your socks
off!! Just wait until I tell my
teammates that you’ll be staying here in Speedy Creek. You know that Craig’s sister, Jen, has the
hots for you? She keeps asking when you
are going to be in town next. She was
always nagging Craig to invite you over to their house after our hockey
practices at the recreation center.”
I said, “I know!!!
She always sits next to me, and talks constantly during your
practices. I never knew anyone who could
talk so fast. She doesn’t even stop to
let me respond to her questions. She
just keeps going. Girls!!! I just don’t understand them. Can’t they just sit and watch the hockey
game?”
Ben said, “But she is really cute with her blue eyes and
blond hair. You know…you should ask her
out. You know…go to movie, or
something. Maybe you could take her
bowling.”
“I don’t know…what if she tells me no?”
“Well, you won’t know until you ask. And besides, you already know she really
likes you. Why wouldn’t she want to go
to the movies with you?”
“Alright, if Dad lets us stay for the school year, I’ll
ask Jen out, but you have got to promise you won’t harass me about it though!”
“Okay, but I will keep on you until you do. You promised me and I won’t forget
that!” Ben said.
“Sh!! That’s my
Dad…he’s not sounding too happy. That
doesn’t sound very good.”
As we tried to overhear the conversation, I kept thinking
of what Dad’s objections would be. Dad
considered Swift Current a dangerous place.
After what seemed like an eternity, they called us to come into the
living room. As we walked into the
living, Dad looked like a thundercloud and Mom looked relieved. Uncle Dave and Aunt Mary smiled at us, as
we sat down on the couch.
Uncle Dave was the first to speak, “Well kids, your mom
and dad have agreed to let you stay here until Christmas. We will evaluate how things are going at
that time and determine if you get to stay until the end of the school year. You know the score….good grades and no
messing around.” Uncle Dave looked
directly at Nancy, as he said this.
Nancy just gave him her wide-eyed innocent look that says, “Who me?”
Aunt Mary said, “And we will start with the back-to-school
shopping in the morning including the school supply lists.”
Nancy and I said, “Thanks Mom and Dad” We both gave Mom a
hug and kiss. Nancy was the only one
who dared approach Dad. She wrapped her
arms around Dad and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“Dad, I love you.
I promise you I won’t get into any trouble. Besides, Cynthia will be there, too, as well
as Ben and Glenn. Thank you for letting
us stay,” Nancy said.
“Well, it’s only until Christmas…you did get that
part? I guess it can’t hurt to see how
you two handle being in the city for a while,” Dad said. “We still have some things to discuss about
logistics. Why don’t you kids run along
while we work out the details; since I seem to be agreeing to this, despite my
better judgment?”
With that statement made, Dad’s face seem to clear a
little and he smiled at Nancy. Mom even
dared to smile after that, knowing that Dad had made peace with himself over
the decision to let us stay. After
that, we all went downstairs to watch a movie and talk about our plans.
About an hour later, Mom and Dad came downstairs to say
good-bye. Dad got all teary-eyed as he
hugged Nancy. “You know I love you and
want you have the best of everything, my cuddle bug. Make sure you listen to your Uncle and
Aunt.”
He came over and
shook my hand and surprised me when he pulled me into a bear hug and said, “I
love you Glenn. Make us proud this year
in school. Show these city folk that
farm people can do everything better!”
Dad hadn’t told me
he loved me in a very long time. Tears
came to my eyes, but I wasn’t about to let my Dad see me cry like a baby. So, I blinked really hard and said, “I love
you, too, Dad. I promise I will do my
best”
We waved to Mom and Dad as they pulled away from the curb
headed back to the farm. I felt kind of
sad to see them leave, knowing I wouldn’t see them until Thanksgiving when the
whole family would travel down east to stay at my grandparents’ home. (Thanksgiving is in October my American
friends!)
4 comments:
Found you on nifty, followed you to blogger. I'm really enjoying your story.
I'm glad you are enjoying it.
Just remember being gay is a choice not something you have at birth. Do I approve? No I don’t.
That shocked me at first as we know it is not a choice but then I saw you mentioned about it and that made me feel better - really enjoying mate.
I am glad you are enjoying the story.
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