Chapter One
Hundred Twenty Nine – Who Am I?
Peyton awoke
with a feeling of panic, bordering on hysteria. The room he was in wasn’t familiar to him,
and there was someone practically sleeping on top of him. He moved his leg in its cast and found that
someone was sleeping on his other side.
That’s when he remembered that he wasn’t in jail anymore. The memory of the last 24 hours came
flooding back. His changed circumstances
hit him like a tidal wave, sending tears of relief and happiness streaming down
his face.
He recognized that it was Glenn, his cousin’s
lover, sleeping with his head on his chest and his leg thrown over Peyton’s
good leg. His blond hair tickled
Peyton’s chin. As he shifted his
position, Glenn stirred, molding his body even more closely to Peyton’s. He felt as if Glenn were clinging to him for
protection and safety. It was an odd
sensation for him, given his recent experiences in prison. No one in prison looked to him for
protection; indeed, he was the one who needed protecting from the prison
guards.
He had
watched all of the guys very closely last night, and noticed how gentle and
loving the guys were toward each other.
It was such a stark contrast to how he had been treated in prison. He had almost given up hope in that dark place. Even now, it held so much horror for him
that just the thought of it made him shudder.
Glenn stirred again.
However,
this time he murmured, “I love you, Babe.”
Hearing
those words brought home to him just how lucky he was to have the chance to
make amends with Rick and Glenn. Even
though he was sure the words were meant for Rick, they still gave him
comfort. He had observed how protective
Rick was of Glenn. He had wondered why
that was, because Glenn seemed to be so happy and carefree. Maybe there was more to Glenn than he had
observed.
*** ***
Peyton moved his arm, and woke up me up. I lifted my
head from his chest and met his gaze. I
smiled, and said, “Good morning, Babe.”
Peyton heard
Glenn’s words and his heart was deeply touched. Glenn had managed to convey his love for him
with just three words. “Good morning,
Glenn.”
I ran my
hands over Peyton’s chest, lightly tracing the outlines of the bruises I found
there. “Do these still hurt?”
“Not like
they did a few days ago,” Peyton replied, enjoying Glenn’s touch. “Can I ask you question?”
“Sure,” I
responded.
“Why is Rick
so protective of you?”
“I don’t
know for sure, but maybe it has something to do with how we first met,” I answered. “Let me explain.” I narrated the story of how we met and how
Rick had comforted me after being dumped by Ian. I told him how his cousin had become my
Prince Charming.
*** ***
Rick awoke
feeling like he was trapped under a heavy load. It took him a moment to realize that it was
Peyton’s leg cast that lay across his legs.
He gently moved Peyton’s leg off of him. He rolled onto his side, facing his
cousin. He raised himself up on his
elbow to see if Peyton was awake.
He smiled,
as he met Peyton’s baby blue eyes. He
looked enough like Rick that they could’ve been twins, except Peyton had blond
hair. Peyton tried to smile back, but
winced in pain. “Good morning, cousin.”
“Good
morning to you, too,” Peyton responded.
Rick glanced
over at me. I grinned at him, and said,
“It’s about time you woke up. Peyton
needs to pee.”
Rick laughed,
and said, “I’ll get the bedpan.” He
climbed out of bed and retrieved the bedpan.
He whipped back the sheet, exposing the two naked men. He looked them over appreciatively. “It looks like you’re both ready for some
action.”
Peyton
nodded his head. “That’s true, but I’ve
got to pee first.”
“Well, let
me take care of that erection, or we’ll have a mess to clean up,” Rick
said. He reached over and flicked
Peyton’s dick with his finger. His erection immediately
faded away
Peyton cried
out, “Why did you do that? That hurt!”
“Stop
whining and pee in the bedpan,” Rick said, lifting Peyton up and placing the
bedpan underneath him.
Peyton eyes
were filled with tears, but he complied with Rick’s instructions, filling the
bedpan. Rick walked into the en suite,
and emptied the bedpan into the toilet.
I joined him, putting my arm around his waist as we took care of our
needs. We both washed our hands and
brushed our teeth, before returning to bed.
Rick took one
look at Peyton’s tear-stained face, and immediately apologized. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Peyton.” He leaned over and kissed him deeply. He pulled back, and gazed into his
eyes. “Can you forgive me?”
Peyton
smiled through his tears. “Yes, if I
can get a kiss like that every morning.”
Rick put his
hand up to his cheek and wiped away the tears, astonished at the fragility of
Peyton’s emotional state. He would have
to remember to be very gentle with his cousin.
“You can have a kiss like that anytime you need one. I’ll even let Glenn kiss you like that, if
you like.”
Peyton smiled,
as much as his swollen lips would let him, and said, “Please.”
I leaned
over, and kissed him just as deeply as Rick had. I pulled
back, meeting his eyes. “Okay, who is
the better kisser?”
Peyton
grinned broadly, forgetting about his wounded lip. It split open and began to bleed. I reached over and grabbed a tissue from the
box on the night stand next to the bed.
I wiped the blood from his bottom lip, and said, “You need to be more
careful. We want that lip to heal, so
we can show you how to give a guy a kiss.”
Peyton
nodded his head in agreement. “I’ll try
to remember. To answer your question, I
think you’re both great kissers.”
Rick laughed. “I think we’ve got a problem.”
Peyton
looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”
Rick reached
down and began stroking Peyton’s very erect steel pole. “We need to get you off this morning, so you
won’t embarrass Grandma.”
Peyton
nodded his head in agreement and arched his back, thrusting upward. He moaned, then, stiffened as he came. His body went limp and he sighed
contentedly. “Thank you.”
Rick said,
“You’re welcome, cousin.”
“I haven’t
been able to get off like that in a long time.
In prison, they taped my dick and balls down to prevent me from ever
reaching orgasm. They told me I was
their bitch, and that bitches don’t have a dick and balls. At one point, they had me wearing woman’s
panties and call me Penny.”
He stopped
and cleared his throat. His eyes were
bright with unshed tears. “None of them
ever thought about giving me pleasure.
It was all about getting them off.”
His tears overflowed and began streaming down his face, as he fought to
get his emotions under control. “I can’t
believe that you thought of giving me pleasure.”
Rick put his
hands on either side of Peyton’s face.
He looked searchingly into Peyton’s eyes. “Peyton, we will never ask you to do
anything you don’t want to do. You are
in control here. I should have asked
you first, if it was okay for me to jerk you off. I’m sorry I overstepped my bounds.”
Peyton
looked up at Rick, tears still streaming down his cheeks. “It’s okay.
I wanted you to jerk me off. I
needed it. It’s just that I’m not used
to anyone looking out for me. I’m
overwhelmed by your kindness to me.
After how I treated you and Glenn, I don’t deserve to have you be so
nice to me.”
Rick said,
“Peyton, did you hear me? We love
you. We are going to keep telling you
over and over, again, until you start believing it. You are important to us, and we want you to
get better.” Rick leaned down to kiss
him gently on the lips.
“Can you
forgive me for being such a bastard to you all of these years? I felt intimidated by you, and I tried to
make you feel small whenever you came to visit us. I know I shouldn’t have done that, but you
seemed to have your act together and I felt threatened by you.”
Rick said, “I
forgive you. I want us to be best
friends from now on, so we need to put the past behind us.”
I leaned
down and kissed him deeply, remembering not to reinjure his bottom lip. I nibbled on his earlobe and whispered in
his ear, “I want us to be more than just friends.”
Peyton’s
eyes went wide with surprise. “Does
Rick know that?”
Rick
laughed, and said, “Yes, I do. I’m the
one who told him to say it.”
He looked at
us. “Are you guys really serious about
that?”
“Yes, we
are; but, there are certain boundaries we won’t cross,” Rick said. He explained them to Peyton. “We are very close to Greg and Cory, and we
want you to be just as close to us as we are to them. Of course, you are in control here. You need to tell us what you’re comfortable
with, and a lot will depend on the speed of your recovery.”
“We want to
make sure you know that we are here to support you in every way possible,
including what we’ve just discussed. We
know that you’ve got a hard road ahead, and that having a support network is
very important. As part of our family,
you have a very strong network, because we take care of our own.”
Peyton’s
tears were flowing, again. He said,
“I’m sorry, my emotions are so near the surface. I can’t help crying. I feel like I have been completely stripped
of all my defenses. It’s like I’m a
newborn child, and my feelings are so strong that they overwhelm me.”
“You’ve just
been through a very traumatic experience, and you’ve been repeatedly abused by
those who should have protected you,” I said.
“We know that you’re vulnerable right now, but we’re here to protect
you, and to comfort you.” I hugged him
tightly, as sobs wracked his body. When
the storm had subsided, I released him.
Rick said,
“I think you should spend the day outside by the pool. How does that sound?”
Peyton
nodded his head. “I’d love that.”
I grinned at
him, and said, “We have some swim suits that clip on. That way you can get some sun. They are pretty sexy looking, and I think
you’ll like them.” I stood up and
pulled on my clothes. “I’ll be right
back.” I went upstairs to our room and
returned with the swim suits. I held
them up for Peyton’s inspection.
“Which one
do you want to wear?” I asked.
“They all
look great!” he exclaimed, excitedly. “I
want to wear the red one. Will you put
it on me?”
“Sure,” I
replied, grinning from ear to ear. Rick
lifted him up, while I put the swim suit on him. Rick and I put on the other two. We modeled them for Peyton,
He wolf
whistled. “You guys sure look great!”
I grinned
and asked, “Do you want us to shave off your body hair?”
Peyton
looked us over and nodded his head.
“Sure. I love how clearly I can
see your muscles. I know I don’t have
as much definition as you guys, but I think it will help me look better.”
“You look
just fine the way you are, Peyton,” I said, giving him the once over.
Peyton
blushed. “Thank you. That’s quite a compliment coming from you.”
I replied,
“It’s true. I think you’re pretty
‘hot.’ You forget that you look a lot
like Rick, and I’m highly addicted to his gorgeous body.”
Rick
grinned, and said, “That means you’re a stud, Peyton.”
Peyton
smiled. “I like being called a
stud. I makes me feel special.”
Rick went
into the en suite, and returned with a razor and shaving cream. We spent the next little while shaving his
body hair. As we removed his body hair,
I ran my fingers gently over the bruises on his back.
Choking back
tears, I said, “I hope the creeps who did this to you are put behind bars, and
that their fellow prisoners treat them the exact same way.”
Peyton said,
“It’s okay, Glenn. I want them brought
to justice, so no one else will suffer the way I did. I’m not seeking revenge, because no one
deserves to be treated the way I was.”
We rolled
him onto his back and took the swim suit off of him to shave his pubes and
buttocks, putting it back on after we finished.
Rick looked
approvingly at Peyton, and said, “You look good, cousin.”
Peyton
laughed, “I never imagined I’d be wearing a bikini swim suit. It feels pretty good.”
“Well, you
do have to be careful, because it won’t keep you covered if you get a hard-on,”
Rick said.
“Well, don’t
kiss me like you did, and I won’t get aroused,” Peyton replied, winking at us.
There was a
knock on the door. Rick walked over to
open the door, admitting Greg and Cory.
Greg said,
“Good morning, boys.”
Cory wolf
whistled. “Wow! Peyton!
You look great!”
Peyton
blushed. “Thanks, Cory. You don’t know how much I needed to hear
that.”
Greg said,
“All three of you look totally awesome!
I love the swim suits!”
Greg and
Cory sat down at the foot of the bed.
“Did you give him the swim suit?” Greg asked.
“Yes,” I
said. “It’s a clip on, so we don’t have
to worry about how to get it on and off of him.”
Greg said,
“Have you changed his bandages?”
“No, we
haven’t,” Rick said, guiltily. “We’ve
been rather busy this morning.”
Cory
laughed. “Let me guess….you gave Peyton
a blowjob!”
Rick grinned
broadly. “Nope, but I did help him jerk
off.”
Greg said,
“Peyton, these guys give excellent blowjobs.”
Peyton
looked at Greg in astonishment. “Have they given you a blowjob?”
Greg nodded
his head. “Yes, they took good care of
me, when I was laid up like you are.
Your cousin kept me from going crazy.
Between Rick and Glenn, they kept me very happy.”
Cory punched
Greg in the shoulder, and said, “Meanwhile, I suffered alone.”
Greg put his
arm around his waist. “Stop
whining! I took care of you as soon as
I could.”
Cory said,
“Yes, you did. However, you had Rick
living with you, and he paid a lot of attention to you.”
Peyton
looked at Rick, and said, “I didn’t know you lived with Greg.”
“I lived
with Greg and his mother to help take care of him after his Dad attacked him,”
Rick said.
Peyton
asked, “You guys mentioned that yesterday.
What happened?”
Greg and
Cory took turns narrating that tragic event.
They showed him their scars, and explained what they had done to cope
with the aftermath. Greg finished by
saying, “We were laid up pretty bad.”
Peyton
looked at them and said, “So, there’s hope for me.”
“Yes, there
is, because if we can do it, you can do it,” Cory said.
Greg said,
“We think you’re going to be just fine.”
Rick said,
“Peyton is going to join us by the pool today.
That’s why we gave him the swim suit.”
Rick’s stomach rumbled.
We all
laughed, and Rick said, “It’s time for breakfast.”
“Let’s get
Peyton into his wheelchair,” I said.
We lifted
him out of his bed and into his chair.
Rick pushed it down the hall and into the kitchen.
Grandma said, “Good morning, boys. I didn’t expect you for another hour or two. Guys your age usually sleep in.” She noted how thin Peyton looked. Some of the gauntness had left his face, but he still looked like one of those starving refugees you see on television. She was very worried about Peyton's physical well-being. However, she didn't want to worry the boys, so she quickly brought a smile to her face.
Grandma said, “Good morning, boys. I didn’t expect you for another hour or two. Guys your age usually sleep in.” She noted how thin Peyton looked. Some of the gauntness had left his face, but he still looked like one of those starving refugees you see on television. She was very worried about Peyton's physical well-being. However, she didn't want to worry the boys, so she quickly brought a smile to her face.
Rick said,
“We normally would, but someone needed some help this morning.”
Grandma
laughed. “I’m glad Peyton had you there
to help him.”
Peyton said,
“So am I. The guys want me to join them
by the pool this morning.”
Grandma
nodded her approval. “I guessed that
was what you had in mind this morning. It
will do you good to be outside as much as possible, Peyton. Glenn, help me put the food on the table,
and the rest of you take your seats.”
After we
brought over several platters heaped with food, we joined the guys at the
table. Grandma asked, “Rick, will you
please say grace?”
Rick nodded
his head. We reached out to take the
hand of the person on each side of us.
Rick said, “We thank you, God, for Peyton’s arrival and ask you to help
him heal. We are grateful for this food
and for Grandma’s efforts on our behalf.
We ask you to bless it to the betterment of our bodies. Amen.”
I gave
Peyton’s hand a gentle squeeze, before releasing it. I looked at him and saw the tears in his
eyes, and saw him bite his lip in an effort not to cry. I put my hand under his chin and turned his
head until he met my gaze. “We love
you, Peyton.”
Rick said,
“You had better get used to hearing those words, Peyton.”
Greg said,
“He’s not kidding, Peyton. I can
testify to the truthfulness of those words.
I’m living proof that there is a lot of love in this family.”
Grandma
said, “Yes, we all love you, Peyton.
Now, Glenn, help Peyton eat his breakfast.” She had placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of
him.
He looked at
the hot cereal in disgust. “Can’t I
have what they’re having?”
He looked
just like a two-year old. I laughed and
turned to Grandma. “Is it okay for him
to have pancakes, eggs and sausage?”
Grandma
said, “You can try the pancakes and eggs, but I’m not sure that eating sausage
is really a good thing right now, Peyton.”
I loaded his
plate with pancakes and scrambled eggs.
“Is that enough?”
Peyton
nodded his head. “Yes, that’s plenty.”
As I fed him
his breakfast, Rick ate his, then, prepared a plate for me. Rick said, “Now, I get to feed you.”
I grinned,
“Anytime.”
When we
finished eating, we cleared the dishes and helped Grandma wash and dry
them. We pushed Peyton’s wheelchair out
to the pool deck. Rick said, “Let’s get
you into a lounge chair. You’ll be much
more comfortable there than in your wheelchair.”
We lifted him
out of the wheelchair and set him gently on the lounge chair. I grabbed the sunscreen and began applying
it liberally to his chest and stomach.
Rick took care of covering his uninjured leg. I put some on my hands and gently covered
his face.
“Here’s a
pair of sunglasses. Do you want me to
put them on you?” I asked.
“No, I’ll
wait awhile,” Peyton said. “I don’t
want to look like a raccoon. I’ll put
them on after we’ve been out here for a while.”
“Okay,” I
said. We pulled our chairs over next to
his. Rick and I covered each other in
sunscreen. I relaxed and let out a
sigh. “This is the life.”
Peyton said,
‘That it is.” Peyton closed his eyes,
enjoying the sunlight on his face. It
had been a long time since he had been able to do that.
After a
while, I looked over at Peyton and said, “I think we need to turn him over, so
he doesn’t burn.”
Rick nodded
and said, “Let’s wake him up.” He
reached over and gently shook his cousin’s shoulder. “Peyton, we need to turn you over.”
Peyton
opened his eyes and yawned widely. “I
could get used to this.”
“We need to
turn you over,” I said. Peyton looked at
me uncomprehendingly. “You need to be turned over so you can tan
evenly, front and back.”
“Oh,” Peyton
said, understanding what I was saying.
Rick and I
lowered the back of Peyton’s lounge chair.
I signaled for Greg and Cory to help us turn him over onto his
stomach. Cory wolf whistled. “Wow!
Peyton, you sure have a great looking bubble butt!”
Peyton
laughed, and said, “That’s quite a compliment coming from you, Cory! I’ve never thought of myself as being very
attractive.”
Cory
smiled. “Well, you need to change your
self-image, because you’re a great looking guy.”
I put a
pillow under Peyton’s chest and one under each arm. Then, I took the sunscreen and rubbed it
into the skin of his back and shoulders.
I moved down to his beautiful butt and unclipped his swim suit.
Peyton
whimpered, “Please don’t fuck me.”
“I’m sorry,
Peyton. I didn’t mean to upset you,” I
said. “Is it okay for me to take your
swim suit off?” I knelt down in front
of him and lifted his chin until he met my gaze. “If you’re not comfortable, let me know.”
There was
look of fear in his eyes. “It’s just
that this is the position they put me in to rape me.”
“Do you want
us to roll you onto your back?” I asked, concern coloring my voice.
Peyton shook
his head. “No, I’ll be okay. I need to remember that I’m not in jail, and
that I don’t have to worry about the guards handcuffing me in a spread eagle
position while they fuck me.”
I gently
kissed his lips and said, “I promise nothing will happen to you. I was going to remove your swim suit, so you
won’t have tan lines. Are you okay with
that?”
Peyton
nodded his head. “I want to look as
good as you and Rick do. You’re such
hot studs.”
I grinned
broadly. “My goal is to help you find a
fine man who will treat you like royalty.
That means you need to look your best.”
Peyton
laughed. “Who said I wanted to find a
man?”
“I know
these things, Peyton,” I said, winking at him.
“You need a quality guy to make you happy.”
Peyton
sighed. “I just hope I will be ready to
have a relationship with him when you do.
Right now, I’m a real basket case.”
“We’ve
already told you that we are going to do everything we can to help you
recover,” I said.
Peyton
nodded his head. “I’m beginning to
believe you.”
I stood up
and moved to his side. I sat next to
him and removed his swim suit. I rubbed
sunscreen into the skin of his cheeks.
Rick laughed, and said, “Glenn, don’t get any ideas.”
I looked up
at him and grinned. “Too late! Peyton’s beautiful body has already given me
lots of good ideas.”
Rick said,
“Okay, hands off my cousin, Babe. Lie
down so I can put sunscreen on your back.”
I complied
with my lover’s request. Peyton looked
over at me and said, “I wish I had someone who loved me as much as Rick loves
you.”
“You will,
some day. Just be patient,” I said, enjoying the feel of
Rick’s hands massaging my shoulders and back.
When he
finished, he handed me the sunscreen.
“Okay, it’s your turn to do me.”
I gave him a
lecherous grin. “Gladly!”
Peyton
laughed. It was a good sound to hear
coming from him. “Rick, you had better
be careful, or you’ll get fucked.”
Rick kissed
me and said, “That’s the whole idea.”
Greg said,
“You should see these two go at it.”
Peyton
turned toward Greg, and asked, incredulously, “Do you mean you’ve seen them
having sex?”
“Yes, and
they’ve seen us,” Greg said.
Rick
stretched out on his stomach on the lounge chair, and I began covering his back
with sunscreen. He turned to Peyton,
and asked, “You didn’t believe me last night, did you?”
Peyton
blushed, as he remembered that conversation.
“No, I didn’t.”
Cory asked,
“What didn’t you believe?”
Peyton
turned an even deeper shade of red.
Rick came to his rescue. “I told
him that I wanted him to become as close to us as you and Cory are.”
Greg said,
“That goes for us, as well. In fact,
tonight, we’ll show you that we really mean it.”
Peyton’s
expression was one of complete disbelief.
“You can’t be serious!”
Cory laughed
and said, “He is and so am I.”
“But your
married,” Peyton protested.
“Yes, we
are,” Cory agreed. “But didn’t Rick
explain how our relationship with them works?”
“Yes, but…”
Peyton said, doubtfully.
“Then, you
know that certain activities aren’t permissible. Greg and I are very much in love with each
other, and you’ve seen that it’s the same with Rick and Glenn. None of us would ever do anything to cause
harm or injury to those we love; and, believe me, when I say that we love Rick
and Glenn very much.”
Greg said,
“I think you’ll find that having a strong relationship with the four of us will
give you back your confidence. I have
to admit that having Rick and Glenn in my corner was the only thing that kept
me going during those first few weeks after my Dad’s attack.”
Cory said,
“The most important thing for you to know is that all four of us are here for
you.”
Peyton heard
Cory’s words and he wept. Hearing
Peyton’s quiet cries, Cory walked over and knelt down beside Peyton’s
chair. He put his arm across his
shoulders, and said, “It’s going to be alright, Peyton.”
Peyton
looked into Cory’s eyes. “I’ve heard
you guys tell me that, but my emotional and psychological wounds are still so
fresh and deep that I don’t dare let myself believe that what you say is really
true.”
Cory gave
him a look of understanding. “I know
where you’re coming from, Peyton. Try
to trust us, and let us help you.”
Cory
returned to his chair, and silence fell as we soaked up the sun. About an hour later, we heard wolf
whistles. Bob said, “Wow! You guys are a sight to behold, five great
looking guys catching rays!”
Rick and I
reached for our swim suits and put them back on. I got up and put Peyton’s swim suit on
him. I signaled for Bob and Jasper to
help me turn him over. They joined me
and Rick. We carefully lifted him up
and turned him on his back. He was all
smiles. “You guys are the best.”
Bob said, “I
agree with you. They are the best.”
Bob and
Jasper were wearing their bikini swim suits, as well. They were already well tanned and looked
great. Jasper said, “Let’s go for a
swim.”
I looked at
Rick and asked, “Are you ready to get wet?”
For an
answer, Rick walked over to the edge of the pool and dived into the water. I looked down at Peyton. “Will you be okay?”
Peyton said,
“Yes, I’ll be okay.”
*** ***
Later that
evening, we were gathered in Peyton’s room.
My uncles had left us for the evening, and we were getting ready to
retire for the evening. Peyton was
already in his bed, completely naked with Greg and Cory on either side.
He grinned
and said, “I could get used to this.”
“So could
we,” Greg said, kissing Peyton. “Someday
soon, we need to show you the joys of having sex with someone you love. But, first, we need to get you better.”
Peyton
laughed, whole-heartedly. The sound of
his laughter filled the room. “You’re
giving me a very good reason to get well.”
Cory said,
“Good, then our plan is working as intended!”
I put my arm
around Rick’s waist, and looked up into his eyes. “I think we should leave these guys to
entertain Peyton. What do you think?”
Rick laughed. “I’m not sure Peyton can handle it. You know he’s so much older than these
guys.”
Peyton
grinned. “I’ve always wanted to be a
dirty old man.”
Greg said,
“Well, you can’t be dirty old man yet.
You’re still just a crippled old man, at the moment.” He tapped Peyton’s arm cast. “You have to get rid of this first.”
Cory said,
“Being out in the sun helped you a lot, because your bruises seemed to have
faded quite a lot since this morning.”
He ran his hands lightly over the huge black and purple bruises on
Peyton’s chest and sides.
Peyton
shuddered as he remembered the cause of those bruises. “I’m trying to forget about those.”
Cory said,
“Your memories of what happened will fade quickly, and we’ll help you create
new, happier memories to take the place of those bad ones.” He kissed Peyton, then pulled back to meet
his eyes. “By the time we’re done with
you, I promise you’ll have so many happy memories that there won’t be any room
for the bad ones.”
Rick said,
“You had better belief him, Peyton.
Well, good night, boys.”
I said,
“We’ll soon you three in the morning.”
Rick took me by the hand and led me from their room. When we reached our room, Rick closed the
door and pinned me against it. “I need
you.” He didn’t give me a chance to
respond before he captured my lips, kissing me deeply.
*** ***
The next
morning we went back downstairs to Peyton’s room to find that Greg and Cory
were already up and were giving Peyton a sponge bath. Peyton grinned, when he saw us. “Greg lent me a hand this morning, just like
you did yesterday, Rick.”
Rick
laughed. “I’m glad he took good care of
you!”
Cory said,
“He shot so much cum we had to give him a bath.”
“If nothing
else, we have proven at least that of his anatomy functions properly,” Greg
said, rolling Peyton over onto his stomach.
They gently cleaned his bruised back.
Greg looked over at Cory.
“Seeing what they did to Peyton just reinforces my desire to become a
criminal lawyer.”
They
finished washing him, and dried him off with a towel. Greg rolled him onto his back. His eyes were filled with tears. Greg sat down on the bed next to him and
took his hand. “Peyton, it’s okay to
cry. It is part of the healing
process. You need to let yourself
grieve for what you have lost. It is
one thing to give yourself willingly to someone you love, and quite another to
be repeatedly raped.”
Rick said,
“Corey and Dylan will be going with you to the doctor’s office today.”
Peyton
nodded his head. “Grandpa told me
yesterday that I’d be seeing the dentist, as well. He thinks that I won’t be able to get my
dental work done until next week, because of the swelling in my mouth, but he
wanted the dentist to give us an estimate of the cost to repair my teeth.”
Cory said,
“Aren’t you going to see a therapist?”
“Yes, but I
asked Grandpa to give me a few more days to recover, before I meet with a
shrink,” Peyton said.
“I agree you
need some time to heal before you meet with a therapist. I hope he’s found one that’s pro-gay, or you
may end up being told that you are the cause of your own problems and deserve
what happened to you. I had a therapist
tell me that when I was still in high school.
He claimed that all faggots deserve to be raped until they are cured of
being gay,” I said.
“That doesn’t
make sense,” Greg said.
“No, it
doesn’t, but the anti-gay crowd refuse to see the error of their ways,” I
said. “I have a therapist I see in
Atlanta. He’s okay, but I’m still not
convinced that he doesn’t have anti-gay sentiments deep down, despite his
claims that he is gay friendly. I don’t
trust straight people. Too often they
say they don’t object to gay people, but then prove they are lying by stabbing
us in the back. Just like my brothers
did to us. At first, they claimed they
were okay with Rick and I being gay; then, when my parents separated, they
blamed us for causing them to break up.
I was very upset that they turned on us. I don’t trust them.”
Peyton said,
“I didn’t know that your parents had been separated. They seem happily married to me.”
“They put on
a good show, but there are still a lot of things that aren’t right in that
relationship,” Rick said. “We just
found out that Glenn’s Dad has a child with another woman.”
“I don’t
know how your mother can continue to stay with him,” Cory said.
“I don’t
either, but it’s her choice to stay.
I’ve told her I would support her decision,” I said.
Peyton said,
“I thought that you guys had a perfect family.”
“No, we
aren’t perfect. We have a good family,
but we, too, have our problems, like any other family,” I said.
Peyton
looked over at Rick. “I guess our
family isn’t the only one that has issues.”
Rick
smiled. “No, ours isn’t the only one. However, I think that we’re both very
fortunate to be a part of this family, since ours has chosen to disown us.”
Peyton said,
“I’m so sorry that I was a huge part of pushing you guys away from our
family. You must hate me.” His voice was thick with tears.
Rick stood
up and moved to Peyton’s side. He
leaned over and hugged his cousin.
“Peyton, when will you get it through your thick skull? We love you, and we have forgiven you for
what happened. Stop beating yourself up
over what happened in the past! It’s
time to live in the present.” Rick sat
up and put his hands on either side of Peyton’s face, giving him a searching
look. “Peyton Jeremiah Campbell, listen
to me, and listen good. You are here
because we want you here. We love you
and we want you to get well. Do you
understand me?”
Peyton
nodded his head, but his tears continued to stream down his cheeks. Rick gently wiped them away with his
fingertips. He smiled and shook his
head. “What are we going to do with
you?’
Peyton
grinned, and said, “Love me, and take care of me.”
Rick
laughed, “Good answer, Peyton.”
We heard a
tap on the door, and Grandma’s voice came through the door. “Are you decent?”
I shouted,
“Yes, Grandma, we’re dressed.”
Peyton
panicked. “But I’m not dressed!”
I grabbed
the sheet from the bottom of the bed and pulled it up over his legs and lower
torso. “There, now you’re covered.”
Grandma
walked into the room. She carried a
pair of boxer shorts, khaki cargo shorts and a t-shirt in her hands. “I’ve sewn Velcro strips on these shorts, so
you can put them on Peyton. Here’s a
clean t-shirt, as well.” She
demonstrated how to pull the Velcro apart, so we could put the shorts on him.
I took them
from her. “Thanks, Grandma.”
She smiled,
and said, “Hurry along, boys! Breakfast
is waiting on the table.”
She left and
we quickly dressed Peyton. We lifted
him into his wheelchair, and wheeled him out of his room, down the hallway and
into the kitchen.
Grandpa was
already seated at the kitchen table. He
greeted us, “Good morning, boys!”
We chorused
back, “Good morning.” We took our seats
and Grandpa said grace. While we ate,
Corey and Dylan arrived.
Dylan said,
“Good morning, everyone.” He looked
over at Peyton. “You’re looking pretty
good this morning. Are you ready for
your big trip into town?”
Peyton
grinned, and said, “Yes, I’m ready.”
Corey said,
“Good, because we’re going to take you to places you’ve never been
before!”
Grandpa
looked around the table at us, and said, “You boys had better be getting on the
road, or you’ll miss your flight to Minneapolis.”
Rick said,
“We’ll make it, Grandpa. We packed last
night, so all we have to do is put our gear in the back of the Land Rover, and
we’re off.”
Greg said,
“We did the same.”
“Good,”
Grandpa said, smiling at us. “I’m glad
you’ve learned to think ahead.”
We stood up
from the table, and carried our dishes to the sink. Grandma said, “I’ll take care of those. I don’t want you to miss your flight.”
We kissed
Grandma on the cheek. “Thanks,
Grandma,” I said.
“You had
better say good bye to your parents, before you go,” she reminded me.
“I haven’t
forgotten,” I said. “But, thank you for
reminding me.”
Rick and I
walked down the hall to the family room.
We found my parents sitting together on the couch. We walked over and gave Mom a hug and a kiss
on the cheek.
“Good bye,
Mom. We’ll see you in a couple of
months in St. Catharines.”
Rick said,
“Good bye, Dad.” He shook Dad’s hand.
I gave Dad a
quick hug, and said, “Good bye, Dad.
Take good care of Mom.”
Dad smiled,
and said, “I’ll do that. Thank you for
not condemning me for having a child with another woman.”
I said,
“You’re welcome. We’ll see you in a
couple of months.”
We left
them, and went upstairs to retrieve our luggage. We met Greg and Cory in the hallway outside
our room. Greg said, “We’re ready.”
“Good. Let’s go,” Rick said.
We loaded
our gear into the Land Rover, and Rick started the engine. Mr. Curtis waved to us as we drove past him,
and out of the gate.
Greg said, “While
I’m excited to see our roommates graduate, I’m worried about Peyton.”
I said, “Me,
too.”
“He’s very
fragile right now,” Rick said. “But
Grandpa knows that, and I’m sure that he’ll make sure Peyton gets what he
needs.”
Cory said,
“Peyton also has Bob, Jasper, Corey and Dylan to keep him company while we’re
gone.”
“But they’re
older, and they might scare him,” Greg said.
“Dylan is
close to our age,” Cory said.
“That’s
true. Grandpa said he would get Peyton
a cell phone today, and will send us his number. We can let him know that we’re thinking of
him by sending him test messages,” Greg said.
I said,
“Grandma will take good care of him.”
Rick said,
“We can’t do anything for him while we gone, so I suggest we relax and enjoy
the trip.”
I reached
over and squeezed his knee. “Yes,
dear,” I said, in my most patronizing voice.
Rick
laughed. “Watch it!”
Greg and
Cory both laughed. We took Rick’s
advice and were soon chatting and enjoying the drive to the airport.
*** ***
Corey pushed
Peyton’s wheelchair out of the kitchen, down the hallway, and out the
door. He looked over his shoulder and
said, “Dylan, will you help me keep the wheelchair from moving too fast?”
“Sure,”
Dylan replied. “Why don’t you turn the
wheelchair around and take it down the ramp backwards. That way, you won’t run the risk of dumping
Peyton out of his chair.”
Corey
laughed. “Now, why didn’t I think of
that?”
“Because you
needed your husband to help you,” Dylan said, kissing Corey on the lips, before
helping him turn the wheelchair around.
They backed the wheelchair down the ramp and down the drive to the
waiting van.
Mr. Curtis
stood at the back of the van, ready to operate the lift. They rolled the wheelchair onto the lift,
locking the wheels to prevent it from moving.
Corey climbed into the back of the large conversion van, and pushed
Peyton’s wheelchair into place.
Mr. Curtis
said, “You’ll need to put on Peyton’s seat belt.” He pointed to the seat belt behind the
wheelchair.
Corey
followed Mr. Curtis’ direction, and soon had Peyton settled. Corey got out of the van. “Dad, who is going to drive the van?”
Grandpa
said, “Mr. Curtis will drive it. One of
you will ride with him, and the other will ride with me. We’ll follow them into town.”
Corey looked
at his husband and smiled, “I know you’ll want to ride with Dad in his sports
car.”
Dylan beamed
at Corey. “I love you.”
“I know you
do. Dad, please let him drive the Porsche,”
Corey said.
Grandpa
said, “Certainly. Let’s go.”
They climbed
into Grandpa’s white Porsche. Corey
walked over to Porsche and tapped on the window. Dylan rolled down his window, and Corey
leaned down to kiss his husband. “Drive
safely, Babe.”
Dylan
grinned from ear to ear. “Always.”
Mr. Curtis
climbed into the driver’s seat of the van.
Corey took place in the passenger’s seat. He turned around and looked at Peyton. “How are you holding out?”
Peyton
smiled. “I’m good. How many cars does your Dad have?”
Corey
laughed, “I think you should rephrase that question, because not all of the
cars in the garage are his. My mother
owns several of them and enjoys racing them.”
Peyton
looked at him in disbelief. “You’re
kidding!”
Corey said,
“No, I’m not. Mom has been racing cars
since I was little. We need to show you
her trophy room. Dad has always
supported her in her desire to race. He
likes driving the nice sports cars, but racing isn’t his thing.”
“Okay, so
how many sports cars do they have?” Peyton asked.
Corey
started counting them off on his fingers.
“Well, Mom has two racing Porsches and one that she likes to use for
driving around town. Dad has two
Lamborghinis, three Ferraris, two Porsches and a Maserati.”
Mr. Curtis
said, “You’ve forgotten the DeLorean.”
Corey nodded
his head. “You’re right. I’d forgotten about that one. Dad doesn’t drive it much, so that makes 12
between Mom and Dad.”
Mr. Curtis
said, “You should tell him about the rest of the vehicles. Your Dad really likes cars.”
Corey
laughed. “That’s an understatement, if
I ever heard one.”
Mr. Curtis
agreed, smiling. “Yes, it was an
understatement. Your Dad bought this
van a couple of days ago, when he found out that Peyton was going to need
transportation to and from his many appointments.”
Peyton said,
in pure amazement, “Do you mean to say he bought this van just for me?”
“Yes, he
did,” Mr. Curtis said. “You are a very
fortunate young man, Peyton. I’ve never
met anyone like Mr. Scarborough. He is
fiercely loyal to his family, and very protective of them. He is wonderful employer who takes care of
us as if we were members of his own family.
The fact that he has chosen to adopt you into his family speaks very
highly of you. I’ve found him to be a
good judge of character, and, apparently, he sees great potential in you.”
Peyton was
struggling to comprehend how someone, like Mr. Scarborough, could see anything
of value in him. In his mind, he was of
very little worth. He still couldn’t
process the fact that the Scarborough family had taken him in, and were
lavishing all of this time and effort on him.
He felt almost crushed by the burden of living up to their expectations.
Corey saw
the look of anguish cross Peyton’s face.
“What’s wrong?”
Peyton
looked at Corey, and replied, “I don’t know how I could ever repay your family
for its generosity toward me.”
Corey,
sensing that Peyton was feeling overwhelmed, said, “Peyton, don’t think about
it. If you try to think about how
you’ll repay us, you’ll just make yourself depressed. First of all, Dad doesn’t expect you to
repay us for our kindness to you. If we
expected that, he would have drawn up a contract and had you sign it. Dad is very good businessman and knows how
to make money. Second, you need to
accept the fact that you’ve been adopted into the family, just like your
cousin, Rick.”
Peyton said,
“Intellectually, I understand what you are telling me, but, emotionally, I’m
not getting it. It’s going to take me a
while to get to a point where I can accept the fact that your family sees me as
someone worth adopting.”
Corey said,
“Well, to begin with, you need to stop saying ‘your’ family and start saying
‘our’ family.”
Mr. Curtis
glanced at Peyton in the rearview mirror.
He saw that Peyton was still struggling with his emotions. “You’ve been through hell, Peyton, and
you’ve survived it. You need to realize
that you’re stronger than you think.
That said, you’re among family now, and it’s okay to let your feelings
show.”
Corey said,
“Mr. Curtis is right. The first day you
spent with us, you told us you were afraid to let your feelings show because
you weren’t sure you could handle your emotions if you let them go. I’ve watched you struggling to keep them under
control. I admit that I don’t like letting
my emotions rule me; but, I think that for the next little while, you would
actually be better off, in the long run, to let your emotions run their
course. You’ll have better control over
them later for having released all of that pent up anger and hurt.”
Peyton
laughed, “You almost sound like you’re a shrink.”
Corey
grinned. “You can call me Dr.
Scarborough from now on!”
“Yes, Doctor,”
Peyton said, smiling. He liked Corey
and Mr. Curtis seemed nice. He relaxed
as much as he could in his wheelchair.
He closed his eyes and listened to the two other men talking.
The next
thing he remembered was Corey gently shaking his shoulder. “We’re here,” he announced.
Dr. Schow
gave him a very thorough physical exam.
Peyton gave him permission to take photographs of his bruises to add to
his medical file, as evidence of the severe beating he had received at the
hands of his prison guards, just in case the prison officials tried to cover up
the evidence of their misdeeds. Grandpa
had taken photographs of him, when he had first arrived, as well. He wanted photographic records to be used as
evidence, if needed, to bring the perpetrators of the crime against Peyton to
justice.
Dr. Schow
removed the staples from his scalp.
“Your head wound has healed nicely, Mr. Campbell. We’ll have the results of your tests back in
the next few weeks. Do you want us to
call you with the results, or do you want us to mail them to you?”
“Can you do
both?”
“Sure,”
replied Dr. Schow. “We’ll see you in
six weeks to remove your casts.”
They left
the doctor’s office, and went to the dentist’s office. The dentist put in a couple of temporary
crowns, and recommended that Peyton return in a few weeks to allow the swelling
in his mouth to completely subside.
Last, they
went to meet the therapist. Grandpa
insisted that at least meet with him, so Peyton could decide if he liked the
guy or not. Dr. Tueller stood to greet
them and invited them to have seat, as they rolled Peyton’s wheelchair into his
office.
As soon as
everyone was settled, he said, “I understand that you are here to see if I am a
good fit for you.”
Peyton
didn’t answer, but looked at him with suspicion. Grandpa spoke up, “Yes, we are, but I think
Peyton is the one who has the final say.”
“May we
speak privately,” Dr. Tueller asked Peyton.
Peyton
nodded his head, still not speaking.
Grandpa
stood up, as did the Corey and Dylan.
They left the room, closing the door behind them.
Dr. Tueller
said, “Peyton, I won’t mince words with you.
I’m not the right person to work with you. I respect Mr. Scarborough and I’m thrilled
that he has taken you under his wing.
However, given the nature of what has happened to you, I’m not a good
fit. I can see from your expression
that you don’t trust me. I must remind
you of someone who hurt you at the prison.
That is not a good place to start.”
Peyton
didn’t say anything, but nodded his head in agreement. Dr. Tueller may not have recognized him, but
he knew Dr. Tueller. Dr. Tueller had
been one of the psychiatrists that had interviewed him at the prison. He remembered that interview and he didn’t
want anything to do with this man.
Dr. Tueller
pushed a button on his phone. “Please
invite Mr. Scarborough to return to my office.”
Grandpa
walked into the office and knew at once from Peyton’s expression that this guy
wasn’t the right one for him. Dr.
Tueller said, “I’m sorry, Mr. Scarborough, but I think you should try a
different psychiatrist. I think that
we’ve mutually agreed that would be the best course of action.”
They left
his office and returned to the van. As
soon as they were back on the road, Corey turned around and asked, “What was
wrong with Dr. Tueller?”
“The first
time I went to prison, he was the shrink that interviewed me. I remember how condescending he was to
me. There is nothing in this world that
would convince me to voluntarily subject myself to his arrogant, egotistical
pyscho-babble.”
Corey said,
“Well, at least, we know he’s not a good fit.
Maybe you should try the therapist that Glenn has worked with in
Atlanta.”
Peyton
looked doubtful. “Maybe, but I don’t
trust therapists, counselors, psychologists, or psychiatrists. They are a bunch of arrogant bastards who
think they know how to cure mentally ill people. Every one I’ve talked to has tried to
convince me that I need to get in touch with my inner self, or that I’ve been
sexually abused as child and need to let the repressed memories come out. I already know who I am, and I wasn’t molested
as a child. I’ve learned more about how
to overcome my mental and emotional issues over the last few days from you guys
than I ever would from some crazy shrink.”
Corey looked
at Peyton in surprise. “Have we really
been that much help to you?”
“Yes, you
have,” Peyton replied. “Your, I mean,
‘our’ family has given me much comfort, especially in the area of
self-worth. I still don’t see myself as
being a highly valued person, but the love all of you have shown me has been a
healing elixir to me. Now, at least, I
have hope of becoming a better person.
In prison, I couldn’t think of anything other than surviving to live
another day. I wasn’t a real person to
those men who raped me. I was no better
than one of those sex toys you can buy at the adult novelty stores.” Peyton’s anger was evident as he spoke. He was flushed and he kept clenching and
unclenching his fists.
Corey said,
“Good, let your anger show. You can’t
begin healing until you get the anger and the hurt out of your system.”
Peyton said,
“That’s what Cory said last night. Greg
and Cory talked to me about how they felt after Greg’s dad attacked them. Cory was just as angry at Greg’s dad as I
feel about those who abused me. He said
he was even angry at Greg, blaming him for what happened.”
As Mr.
Curtis listened to Corey and Peyton talk, he thought to himself, “What Peyton
needs is someone to love him! I think I
might have an answer to that!” He had
hired a young guy, Paul Kinnebrew, to work as part of the security team. He thought Paul might be gay. He was a local kid who Sherriff Smith had
recommended to him. He was a tall,
lanky kid with killer smile and a wicked sense of humor. He wasn’t sure, but he thought maybe he and
Peyton might hit it off. He made a
mental note to talk to Mr. Scarborough about Paul.
They arrived
back at the Scarboroughs. Corey and
Dylan helped get Peyton’s wheelchair out of the back of the van. Mr. Curtis waved Paul over and said, “Paul,
please help the guys with the wheelchair.”
Paul said, “Sure,
boss.” His bright blue eyes met Mr.
Curtis’ gaze, and he smiled. “Is there
something else you want me to do?”
Mr. Curtis
said, “Not right now. You’re welcome to
visit with Peyton for a few minutes. I
want you to get to know him, since he’ll be living here for quite some time. I’ll get one of the other guys to cover the
gate for you.”
Paul walked
up behind Dylan and asked, “May I be of assistance?”
“Sure,
Paul. Peyton, this is Paul
Kinnebrew. He’s one of the new guys Mr.
Curtis hired a few weeks ago,” Dylan said.
Paul helped
them push the wheelchair up the ramp and back inside the house. They wheeled him to his room. Peyton looked Paul over. He was about 6’4” and had a lanky frame. He had corn yellow hair, bright blue eyes, a
blond mustache and a goofy grin. Peyton
met Paul’s gaze, and smiled. He knew
he’d been caught.
Paul said,
“Don’t worry, Peyton, I’ve been checking you out, as well. I’m gay and I like looking at good looking
guys.”
Peyton
blushed. He cleared his throat and
said, “Thank you. I think you’re pretty
good looking yourself.”
Dylan said,
with surprise, “I didn’t know you were gay, Paul.”
Paul said,
“I’ve not told anyone else, except you guys in this room. In fact, I wasn’t going to tell anyone, but
I felt I could trust you guys. I’m not
ready to face the harassment and ridicule I will get when my friends and family
find out. I’m absolutely certain my
family will disown me.”
Corey said,
“I’m glad you came out to us. I’d
wondered if you were gay, because I caught you checking out some of the new
guys Mr. Curtis hired last week. I
figured you would tell us sooner or later.”
Paul
laughed, “I guess I haven’t been careful enough, if you caught me checking out
the guys. I really like Jonathan. He’s really cute.”
Corey said,
“I admit that I’ve checked him out, as well. He’s Sherriff Smith’s son.”
Paul
grimaced. “Oops! I guess I’ll have to watch what I say. I think I remember Sherriff Smith telling me
his son worked here. It slipped my
mind.”
Dylan said,
“Jonathan’s cool. He’s okay with gay
guys. He claims that he’s straight, but
I caught him checking us out when we were swimming yesterday. He looked away, but I saw him looking us over
a few minutes later.”
Paul asked,
“Do you think I have a chance with him?
I mean, I’m kind of homely.
Jonathan is SO good looking; he probably wouldn’t even give me the time
of day.”
Dylan said,
“He doesn’t seem to be a snob.”
“But you’re
just as good looking as he is, and I’m not,” Paul said.
Peyton said,
“I think you’re good looking.”
Paul stared
at him. “Do you really think that, or
are you just being nice?”
Peyton’s
gaze didn’t waiver. “I really think
so.” Paul blushed and ducked his
head. “You don’t need to be
embarrassed.”
Paul looked
up and met Peyton’s eyes. “Nobody has
ever told me that.”
Corey
laughed. “Nobody knew that you’re gay
until now, so I wouldn’t worry about that.”
Paul nodded
his head. “I guess you’re right.”
Peyton said,
“I need to pee. Will you help me?” He was looking directly at Paul, as he said
it.
The color
rose in his cheeks. “I’ve never helped
another guy go pee.”
Corey said,
“It’s quite simple. You need to grab
that bedpan over there and lift him up, so you can put the bedpan underneath
him.”
Paul walked
over and picked up the bedpan and returned to Peyton’s wheelchair. “What do I do now?”
“Well, you
have to take his clothes off,” Dylan said.
“We’ll help you.” They undid the
Velcro strips and pulled off his shorts and underwear. “We’ll lift him, while you put the bedpan
under him.”
Paul did as
he was instructed. Peyton did his
business, and Paul took the bedpan into the en suite to empty it. He rinsed out the bedpan and returned it to
its place.
Peyton
grinned, and said, “Thank you. Will you
help me into bed?”
Paul
laughed, and said, “Sure as long as you let me sleep with you.”
Peyton
smiled broadly. “I think that can be
arranged, but you’ll have to wait your turn.”
Paul looked
at him, incredulously. “Who are you
sleeping with now?”
“He’s
sleeping with us tonight,” Corey said, indicating himself and Dylan.
They lifted
Peyton out of his wheelchair and placed him in his bed. He grinned up at Paul, his steel pole at
full mast. Paul’s eyes were glued to
his crotch. Peyton asked, “Would you
like to help me out?”
Paul raised
his eyes to Peyton’s. “Would you let
me?”
Corey said,
“Dylan, I think we need to leave these two alone for a while.”
Dylan nodded
his head. “Let’s go.” They left Peyton’s room, closing the door
behind them.
Paul wasn’t
sure what to do, so he sat down at the foot of the bed. He looked everywhere except at Peyton. He jumped when he heard Peyton’s voice.
“Paul, you
don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If you’ll pull the sheet up over me, we can
talk.”
Paul stood
up and did as Peyton asked. He returned
to his place at the foot of the bed.
“Paul, look
at me please,” Peyton said, soothingly.
He could see how uncomfortable Paul was. When Paul raised his eyes to his, Peyton
said, “Paul, I find you very attractive.
I’m in no shape to take advantage of you, even if I wanted to.”
Paul
laughed. “You’re right about
that.” It was a nervous laugh, but
Peyton could see that Paul was beginning to relax.
“I want us
to be friends, Paul. No, I want us to
be more than friends,” Peyton said.
Tears began rolling down his cheeks, and he cleared his throat. “I need someone I can talk to who isn’t
family. My adopted brothers are great,
but they’re already married, or happily paired. I need someone who will be there for me, and
will take a chance at loving me for who I am.”
Paul, seeing
Peyton’s tears, was moved with compassion for this man. It was obvious that he had been severely
beaten from the bruises that covered his body, but Paul realized that the more
grievous wounds were hidden ones. This
man needed to love and be loved. The
raw need and the deep sadness he saw in Peyton’s eyes pulled at Paul’s heart
strings.
“I, also,
want to find someone to love me, and who I can love in return,” Paul said. “I would like to be your friend,
Peyton. I’m not ready to have a
physical relationship with anyone, yet.
I’m still getting used to the idea that I just outed myself to you
guys. I’m not sure how a gay guy should
act.”
Peyton said,
“I understand how you feel. I’m not
ready for a physical relationship, either.”
He laughed, and continued, “I’m still too crippled to even enjoy sex
with anyone right now.”
Paul said,
“But you asked me to jerk you off!”
“I did
because I wanted to get you alone, so I could talk to you,” Peyton said, giving
Paul a lecherous grin.
“That’s not
all you wanted,” Paul said, accusingly.
Peyton
replied, “Guilty as charged! I did hope
you would give me some relief. You’ve
got me so horny that I’m really beginning to hurt.” He raised his arms, shaking the casts. “It’s kind of hard to jerk off with these
casts in the way.”
Paul smiled,
“Okay, I’ll help you.” He pulled back
the sheet, exposing Peyton’s very erect male member. He looked at Peyton, and said, “I don’t what
to do.”
Peyton
laughed. “I don’t believe that for one
minute. I don’t know of any guy who
hasn’t got himself off at one time or another.”
Paul
blushed. “I’ve never jerked anyone off
before.”
Peyton said,
“There some lube in the drawer of the night stand. Get it out and put some on your hand.” Paul did as he was told. “Now, take my dick in your hand.”
Paul began
stroking Peyton, causing Peyton to moan with pleasure.
*** ***
A while
later Paul emerged from Peyton’s room and made his way outside. Mr. Curtis saw him, and asked, “How is
Peyton?”
Paul blushed
as he remembered what had just happened in Peyton’s room. He cleared his throat and said, “He’s fine,
sir.”
Seeing the
color in Paul’s cheeks, Mr. Curtis deduced that the two must have hit it
off. “I hope that you’ll be a good
friend to Peyton. He’s going to need as
many friends as he can get.”
The color in
Paul’s cheeks deepened. “I hope I can
help him,” he said, hoping he could escape before he gave himself away.
Mr. Curtis
said, “Paul, let me put you at ease. I
know you’re gay and so is Peyton. It’s
okay to admit that you find Peyton attractive.”
Paul stood open-mouthed with surprise and shock. “You can close your mouth now, Paul. I’ve been around this family long enough to
know a gay guy when I see one.”
Paul finally
recovered, and said, “Please don’t tell anyone.”
Mr. Curtis
laughed. “I won’t tell anyone, but
you’ll have to be better at hiding your interest in the new guys, or they’ll
guess just like I did. It was pretty
apparent the other day that you’ve got the ‘hots’ for Jonathan.”
Paul ducked
his head in embarrassment. He hadn’t
realized he had made his interest in Jonathan so obvious. Mr. Curtis said, “There’s no need to be
ashamed. I think it’s okay for you to
be attracted to other guys. Not only
that, I think Jonathan is attracted to guys from what I saw yesterday. He sure was checking out the guys in their
bikini swim suits.”
Paul looked
up, and said, “I know, because I was checking them out, too.”
Mr. Curtis
laughed. “Well, that makes three of
us.”
Paul did a
double take. “Whoa!”
Mr. Curtis
grinned. “I’m married and have a
wonderful family, but I do enjoy looking at good looking guys. During my college years, my roommate and I
would help each other out. I guess you
could say we were friends with benefits.
Neither of us is gay, but we were two very horny guys in need of some
relief. One night, he suggested that I
let him fuck me, and then I could fuck him.
From that night on, we never lacked for good sex!”
Paul stared at
him in disbelief. “How long did you
guys fuck each other?”
He replied,
“We were roommates for nearly three years, and we fucked each other practically
every night. When we graduated, we went
our separate ways. I came home, and
starting dating my wife. We were
married a few months later, and here I am.”
“Does your
wife know?”
“No, she
doesn’t. I’ve never told her. I have told Mr. Scarborough, though. He wasn’t sure he should hire me for his
chief of security, so I shared with him my college experiences and that I
wasn’t prejudiced against gays. He made
it clear that he would not hire anyone who hated gays.”
“Did you
know I was gay when you hired me?”
“No, but I
had a sense that you might like guys,” Mr. Curtis said. “I also had that feeling with several of the
other guys. I could be wrong about
that, so don’t to spreading rumors that I think they’re all gay.”
Paul
smiled. “I won’t. Thanks for talking to me.”
“Sure. Now, get back to work,” Mr. Curtis said,
pointing to the guard shack at entrance to the driveway.
“Yes, sir,”
Paul said, saluting smartly.
Mr. Curtis
laughed. “Just get to your post.” He watched the young guy walk away from
him. He was glad he had guessed right
about Paul. He was a good kid and
working for the Scarboroughs would be good for him.
*** ***
Peyton had
fallen into a troubled sleep. He
started awake at a touch on his shoulder.
He opened his eyes and looked up into Grandma’s face. “I’m sorry to wake you, Peyton, but it’s
time for dinner.”
Peyton
smiled and tried to sit up. She
assisted him by lifting him as he pushed himself back so he could lean against
the headboard. “Thank you,” he said.
“You’re
welcome,” she said. She turned around
and retrieved the food tray. She placed
it over his lap. She sat down next to
him and started to feed him. When he
had finished, she took the tray away and set it on the table.
“Thank
you. The food was delicious,” Peyton
said. As she turned to leave, Peyton
asked, “Would you stay and talk to me?”
Grandma
smiled, and replied, “Yes, I would love to get to know you better.” She sat down next to him, and took his hand
in hers. “What would you like to talk
about?”
“I want to
know if you believe in God,” Peyton said.
“I’ve really been struggling with my religious beliefs, since I was
raped. I’ve been very angry at God for
allowing such a horrible thing happen to me.
Why does He allow these things to happen?”
Grandma
said, “I don’t profess to know the mind of God, but I have always felt that
everything happens for a reason.” She
stopped and looked at him closely. “Are
you questioning the existence of God, or are you questioning whether He cares
about the human race, and, more specifically, does He care about you?”
Peyton
thought for moment. He had a similar
conversation with Greg and Corey last night, but hadn’t been satisfied with
their answers to his questions. That
was why he had asked Grandma for her opinion.
“I guess I’m asking both questions.
I was taught to believe in God growing up, but the God my parents
believe in is vengeful God and is full of hate, as are his followers. After everything I’ve been through, I can’t
believe in their God anymore.”
“I see,”
Grandma said. “Well, if you really want
to know what I think, I’ll be glad to share my thoughts; however, I haven’t
found a church, yet, that teaches what I believe to be the truth about God.”
Peyton
nodded his head in understanding. “That’s
kind of how I feel right now.”
“I believe
that were are literally the spirit children of a Father in Heaven and that we
lived with him before we came to this earth.
Jesus Christ is our brother and he lived in heaven with us. My mother taught me from a young age to pray
to a loving Heavenly Father who answered our prayers. She believed that we are His children and
that we have the right, as his children, to approach him in prayer. I remember my mother arguing with her pastor
about that. He said that only the
pastor had that right, or someone who was a trained minister. She told him that he was an agent of Satan
who was trying to separate God’s children from their father by telling us we
can’t approach our own Heavenly Father without some intermediary. That never made sense to her, nor does it to
me.”
“Do you
really believe that anyone can pray to God?” Peyton asked.
“Yes, I
do. I also believe that God knows each
of us personally and answers our prayers.
I’ve often felt close to God over the years. I believe that He has watched over me and my
family. My mother always taught me that
God loved me, and I have no doubt that she knew it.”
“But, if
what you say is true, why does God allow bad things to happen?” Peyton
said. “Why did he allow me to be gang
raped and beaten so badly that I nearly died?”
There was a lot of pent up anger in his words. “Why would He allow such evil things to
happen?”
Grandma
said, “I can’t answer that question, Peyton, because I don’t know. However, I like to believe that God has a
plan for each of us that will allow us to reach our full potential. Will you promise not to become angry, if I
speak to you plainly about what I think about your situation?”
Peyton
hesitated. He wasn’t sure he was ready
to hear what truth might come out her mouth.
He knew he couldn’t fool her, and that she knew enough about his history
that she actually might be able to help him understand why things had happened
to him. He finally nodded his
head. “Okay, I promise not to get
angry.”
She squeezed
his hand. “What I’m going to say may
hurt, but I intend it in a good way to help you become a better person. Do you understand me?”
The
seriousness of her tone of voice, and the intensity of her gaze, caused him to
rethink his decision to hear her out. In
the end, he cleared his throat, and said, “I understand.”
She
continued, “Correct me if I’m wrong in assuming that prior to your time in
prison that you were a very arrogant, self-centered individual who only cared
about himself.”
Peyton
nodded his head. “Yes, I’ll own up to
that, because I was very much into me.
I didn’t care who I hurt or what happened to other people. In fact, I went out of my way to make other
people suffer. I had such low
self-esteem that I had to tear other people down to make me feel better about
myself.”
“So, you
admit that you were a pretty miserable excuse for a human being?” Grandma
asked, gently squeezing his hand to take the sting out of her words.
Peyton looked
away from her. He felt like his whole
life had been laid open for her to see.
He looked back at her and met her eyes.
They seemed to look deep into his soul.
There was no way he could lie to her.
Her face was kind, and held no hint of condemnation. She smiled, encouragingly. He finally replied, “Yes, you could say
that. I tried my best to make life
miserable for Rick. I remember seeing
him with Angie and wishing that I had a girlfriend like her. I was very happy when she broke up with him,
and, even happier, when she sought me out.
She wanted to hurt Rick as much as I did.”
“How do you
feel about Rick now?” she asked.
“I feel very
fortunate that he is man enough to forgive me.
He is a good man, and I’m happy he’s found his life partner,” Peyton
said.
She sat
looking at him in silence. When she
didn’t speak, Peyton continued, “Yes, I’m still a little jealous of him. He and Glenn are so happy together. I want to love and be loved like he is. But, this time, I want him to help me find
that special someone. I want to learn
from Rick how I can be the person that someone like Glenn will want to spend
the rest of their life with.”
“What made
you change your mind about Rick?” she asked.
He thought
for a long while about her question, before he answered her. “I
think it was the experience I had in jail.
I learned what it felt like to be despised and rejected. I was always looking over my shoulder,
wondering when I would be raped again.
I didn’t like being treated as being less than human. The men who sexually abused me saw me as
their property. I was traded in a card
game once. My cell mate lost, and I
became another man’s sex toy, as a result.
There was nothing I could do to prevent it. I tried to stop them, but ended up gang
raped instead. I went to the guards to
complain about what was happening to me.
I found out they were worse than my fellow prisoners.”
She asked,
“Do you think you would’ve changed your way of thinking, if you hadn’t been
treated that way in jail?”
“Honestly, I
don’t think I would have. I was pretty
set on making Rick’s life miserable, even though I had admitted that I was to
blame for what happened to me,” Peyton said.
“Do you
think you are a better person as a result of your experiences?” she asked.
This
question wasn’t one he had considered before.
He had always thought about what happened as something God should have
prevented. The concept that maybe he
had a Heavenly Father who wanted him to reach his full potential, and that what
he had been through was intended to make him a better person, had never even
entered his mind. The concept of a
loving God was foreign to him. His
parents had always taught him that God demanded strict obedience, and tolerated
no deviations from His chosen path whatsoever.
Those who strayed were punished by death. There was no room for mercy. His father personified his vision of what
God was like, stern and unforgiving.
“I think
that I’m a better person, now, than I was before I went to prison. I’ve learned to be patient, or, at least,
more patient than I was before. I can
now empathize with others pain and suffering.
I certainly can commiserate with Greg and Cory, since I was beaten just
as they were.”
“Peyton, I
believe that you are a child of a loving Heavenly Father who has sent his
angels to strengthen you and to be by your side throughout your entire ordeal
in prison. God has promised that we
won’t be tried beyond what we have the strength to bear. When things reached their worst, God sent my
husband to succor you in your time of greatest need. I believe that you are here, at this moment
in time, because you needed to hear my words.
You are of infinite worth to your God because you are his child. I firmly believe that when you internalize
that truth, you will become a much stronger person and you will act
accordingly. I believe in a God that
wants us to return to live with him, but, in order to do that, we must become
more like him. If you read the New
Testament carefully, you will find that Jesus did the works that His Father
wanted him to do. He healed the sick
and the afflicted. He comforted those
who needed comfort. He sought out those
who needed healing, both in body and soul.
I truly believe that He can lift the burden of your suffering from you,
Peyton. Let Him carry the sorrow, the
anger, and the pain for you. You need
to leave all of your troubles on the altar, give them to God, and come away
with God’s peace.”
“Now, you
sound like one of those preachers on television,” Peyton joked. He knew he shouldn’t joke, but he was
getting overwhelmed by the feelings that were washing over him.
Grandma
smiled, “I might be, but I want you to know how I feel about God. I don’t have patience for those television
preachers. Most of them are in it for
the money. They try to make everyone
think of them as holy men, and they are as far from holy as anyone can get.”
Peyton
laughed, “You’re so right about that.”
Grandma
said, “It is good to hear you laugh, Peyton.
It means that you’re on the road to recovery.”
He smiled at
her. “What do you think of the various
religious denominations?”
“Over the
years, we have attended a variety of different Christian denominations. We’ve found everyone one of them to be
lacking in one way or another. Very few
actually live the gospel of Jesus Christ, or, at least, how I believe it should
be applied to our everyday lives. One
pastor accused us of claiming to be perfect.
We admitted to him that we had our faults, but we couldn’t continue
attending his church. He preached hate
and violence from the pulpit. When we
called him on it, he got very angry with us.
After that experience, we haven’t joined any church. We still study the Bible on a regular basis,
and we try to keep the commandments of God the best way we can.”
“Maybe that
is what I should do. The chaplain at
the prison told me I was going to hell.
He claimed that I was a sinner for having sex with other men. He insisted that it didn’t matter whether I
was forcibly raped, or not. His
contention was that there was no hope for me, because God condemned homosexuals
to death.” Peyton said.
“Well, I’ve
already told you that I don’t hold that view of God. Too many religious people claim to talk for
God. They claim to be the gatekeepers
of His blessings and have the keys to gaining entrance to His kingdom. They need to stop and look inward. They will find that they are unacceptable to
the very God they claim to represent, and that they will find themselves
looking up to heaven from the very hell that they insist the rest of us are
destined to inhabit for the eternities.”
She stopped, and smiled at him.
“There, you’ve gone and got me stirred up. I’m an old woman who is very set in her
ways, with very little patience for the professional religious crowd. I’m sorry for rambling on, Peyton. You’ve been a very attentive listener.”
Peyton
smiled, “Thank you for talking to me about God. I’m searching for the truth about God and
religion. I’ll give some thought to
what you’ve said.”
Grandma
said, “Just remember who you are, Peyton.
That is the one thing I’ve always told my children and my
grandchildren. When they were small, I
would say prayers with them every night.
We would kneel at their bedside and talk to God. Then, I would ask them, ‘Who are you?’ and
they would answer, ‘I’m a child of God.’
I told them to never forget that as long as they lived. I will leave you with the same admonition. Don’t ever forget that you are a child of
God, Peyton.”
Peyton’s
eyes were bright with tears. “I won’t
forget.”
She stood up
and said, “I think it’s time the boys got you out of bed. You need to come outside. Grandpa plans to start a fire in the fire
pit. The boys can roast some
marshmallows for you.”
“That sounds
like a perfect way to spend an evening,” Peyton said, smiling at her.
She walked
over to the door, and opened it. She
started when she saw Corey and Dylan standing there. “I was just coming to get you.”
Corey
grinned, “Dad sent us to fetch you. He
has the fire going and it’s almost time to roast marshmallows.”
“Well, you
need to help Peyton into his wheelchair,” she said.
Dylan said,
“Yes, ma’am.”
She smiled,
and said, “Thank you, Dylan.” She left
them to help Peyton.
The helped
him into his chair and wheeled him outside.
Bob and Jasper were there as were Don and Eva. Bob asked, “Would you like a marshmallow?”
Peyton
nodded his head, “Please.”
Eva asked,
“How are you doing, Peyton?”
“I’m much
better than I was a few days ago,” Peyton said.
“Good,” she
said, smiling. “We were just commenting on how quickly your
bruises seem to be healing.”
Jasper said,
“I think it’s all the sunlight he’s been getting. We’ve had him outside in the sun every day.”
Bob said, “I
think it’s because he is getting so much special attention.”
Peyton
smiled, “I think it’s both.”
Corey said,
“I agree with Peyton. I think the
change in environment is what is doing him the most good.”
Grandpa
said, “That is what I hoped would be the case.”
Peyton
smiled. “Thank you for opening your
home to me.”
Grandpa
said, “You’re welcome, Peyton. However,
I want to remind you that you’re part of our family now, not just a house
guest.”
Peyton said,
“This all seems like a dream to me. I’m
afraid that I’ll wake up, and find that I’m still in jail.”
Jasper said,
“Then, start living your dream, Peyton.
Make the most of the opportunity you’ve been given to start over.”
Peyton
looked at Jasper and said, “I don’t have any dreams left.” He had a look of complete despair on his
face.
Jasper
walked over and put his arm around Peyton’s shoulders. “Peyton, you’re still suffering from the
trauma you suffered at the hands of evil men.
I think you need to give yourself some time to heal, before you decide
that you don’t have any dreams left.
What I hear is a man who needs to open his heart to receive all of the
love this family has to give him. We
are here for you, and we’ll do our best to help you.”
His look of
despair was replaced with one of doubt.
“I feel that you care for me, but how can you say that you love me? You don’t know me.”
Grandpa
said, “You forget that I do know you, Peyton.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have taken a chance on you. I believe that you’re destined to greatness. You may not think so, but I believe you have
it in you to become whatever you want to be.
As a family, we have decided to adopt you, and that means that you will
succeed. We take care of own, Peyton,
and you’re one of us now.”
Peyton
looked around at the faces of his adopted family. Each of them smiled at him. He
said, “Thank you for believing in me.”
Peyton spent
the rest of the evening marveling at the good fortune that had brought him into
this family.
*** ***
Author’s Note:
Music for
this chapter –